Knowledge comes when knowledge is ready.
It is said that when the student is ready the teacher shows up, but my experience is more like this: when the knowledge is ready for you… it comes.
Knowledge, real knowledge, is sacred, and it doesn’t just want to go to anyone.
My experience has been that only when you hit bottom, where there are no options, no back doors, no escape, that knowledge is willing to come to you. Maybe it is coming all the time, but I don’t know: I can only tell you that when I hit bottom, knowledge finds me.
I have been at my rope’s end. I am doing the work I was asked to do: using my empath ability to fully experience what you experience, fully feel what you feel, so I can guide you from where you are, instead of where I THINK you are.
It is much like being taught ballet: the teacher puts her hand on your calf, changes the angle of your ankle… hands on. Imagine being taught remotely: the teacher would have to rely on their idea of where you must be, what you must be doing, and give you guidance from that. You would never become a ballet dancer, and you would injure yourself in addition to failure.
The same is true for spiritual teaching: teaching you to find your self, to get out of your mind, to use the energies inherent in your physiology and spiritual body, wield your attention, your will, your witness.