A house divided against itself cannot stand, said Abraham Lincoln, invoking a biblical truth.
Congruence = agreement or harmony; compatibility. Congruent = in agreement or harmony.
Pretense, lying, you and your actions not saying the same thing leads to no success.
An inner division, lack of integrity, lack of authenticity is the main reason you are not successful, because your energies are divided and fight against each other, instead of using that same energy to get things done. To accomplish. To produce.
Criminals are happier than you. Hitmen are happier than you.
You need to decide who you are… and stick with your decision. In words and in action.