All posts by Sophie

Spirituality and Personality: The Psycho-Spiritual Controversy

If you have been involved in either therapy or counselling, or spirituality and meditation, in recent years you have probably encountered two basic, polarized viewpoints concerning personality. Essentially it amounts to this: therapists are pro-personality (and its improvement through healing neurosis etc.) while spiritual teachers proclaim personality a big waste of time, since neurotic or not, you are more than your personality.

This is not particularly surprising, since therapy and counseling tend to be concerned with the individual, while spiritual practices are concerned with higher matters. But it does lead the novices and beginners into a quandary where they are faced with the decision of what to do about personality. On the one hand, therapy could be an expensive, futile effort to better the personality, whereas, on the other hand, spiritual practice may offer an excuse to leave personal problems behind, with the justification that you are moving on to more lofty concerns.

In the extensive time I have been engaged in therapy and spirituality I can say that I have discovered the answer to this controversy! And I don’t say it without reluctance and a certain caution, since my answer is liable to offend both camps — therapists and spiritual teachers. Perhaps my answer is less a rejection or abandonment of one viewpoint for another and more of a synthesis. This may be an answer of the best kind – the kind that doesn’t marginalize or dismiss anyone’s experience or viewpoint. For my answer, while radically new and innovative, does not fundamentally disagree with either point of view, but considers each appropriate to the complex, total unfolding process of our human nature and potential.

My answer to the dilemma is to propose a third band of human experience. I call this “the authentic self” and since I am not using any unusual words I need to define this term, because I do mean something specific. The authentic self, in the way I use the term, is the bridge between the personality and the spiritual self. It is arrived at usually, but not always, after a lengthy period of intensive, deep, applied and consistent inner work. This inner work consists of a journey of self-discovery in which one circumvents the self, becoming increasingly aware of the conscious and unconscious material that comprises one’s sense of self, or ego. This involves character, which is essentially defensive strategy or an intelligent, protective reaction to early conditioning, which becomes increasingly calcified and adapted throughout adolescence and adult life. Character is composed of the way in which we survive and protect ourselves from inner and outer stimuli and ultimately avoid really meeting life. It creates a self-imposed prison — limitations in which we feel falsely safe.

Self-discovery also involves cultivating our awareness of personality, or the way in which character (defenses and strategies) is experienced. Both inwardly and outwardly we
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Love is wanting for you what you want for yourself…

Maybe love is wanting even more for you than you want for yourself… but I am not sure about that.

Because of great love one is courageous. And coaching you is a lot like training tigers to act like pussycats… And as dangerous.

A coach wants for you what you say you want for yourself…
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Setting your sights sky high… getting not even dirt in your hands

Are you always going for the home run? The big win?
One of the most useful steps in the 67 steps is the step where Tai compares business/life to baseball.

The most important aspect of business is to not lose money. Money lost is the result of mistakes. Mistakes are the results of hasty actions, or actions that try to go from zero to sky high in one fell swoop.

Like a baseball player who tries to hit the ball so hard every time as to be able to have a home run…

Most people I talk to have no skills, no plans, no idea… but when I ask them what they are up to, they talk about the sky-high.

Most people want to raise their vibration to 500+ right away…
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Experience failure and be well

Well, that didn’t turn out the way I imagined.

I planned to have a series of coaching sessions to test the “itch” method. I made room for 10 people… would have been happy with 8, got one person, someone who knows me well, and in addition I have done the process with her already…

I bet you would be disappointed, and your mind would go crazy on you, if this happened to you… am I right? Me? I am amused, I am curious, I am happy. Not pretend happy, just happy.

How is that possible?

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What is the source of your bad feelings? The bad feelings you try to suppress or fix…

Almost all bad feelings you have come as a result of your delusional self, your precious “I” is scared of being devalued.

It is as if you were a gold plated coin pretending to be solid gold, and life would be continually threatening you to reveal your fakeness.

I used to be like you. I felt that there was a big gap between my accomplishments and my abilities… and maybe there was.

But most importantly, every little error, every little mistake I made or even just faced!!! jerked me down a hellish path… filling me with dread, and fear, and remorse, and regret, and who even knows words for those horrible feelings.

And mistakes? I made plenty.

I misunderstood, I jumped into conclusion, I tried to do something too fast before I even saw what the heck I was supposed to do… Put my foot in the mouth… lol.

40+ times a day.
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How did the 1000 manage to become the 1000?

The book ‘The Art of Hunting Humans’ calls them the Superiors.

The 1000 are the producers of the world… and believe it or not, they got there and stay there by CONSISTENTLY PRACTICING certain ways of being and behaving that are very different from how others behave.

According to muscletesting, they turned on the required genes by practicing those behaviors CONSISTENTLY.

The masses, you, the eight billion, would want someone to turn on the genes for them… but NEVER would consider that genes are not some fork or spoon. Some object lying about. and when you want to eat you can pick them up and use them… the capacities are not even visible, not obviously available unless you initiate the behavior to use them. You need to initiate… from some vision, or demand of yourself… Do you have any demands of yourself?
According to Alex Hormozi’s videos he is aware that without seeing nothing new can happen.
And he is also aware that without looking no seeing can happen, at least not consistently. Like one swallow doesn’t make a spring, a glimpse, won’t alter your behavior.

And without the discipline to consistently act on what you see… ditto.
The role of the environment
And what he also saw, through his own experience, personal and through people he coaches, that if you put yourself into an environment that is not conducive, does not agree, or even negate growth, or anything new, you’ll lose all your advantage, and pretty much everything you have ever achieved with the new faculties you created through consistent hard work.

This is why I warn people against ‘going home for the holidays’… or any gatherings that are like that.

One of the elements of growing is abandoning, leaving behind old beliefs that are kept in existence by speaking.
All beliefs are words… speaking.
The human condition, the condition of the talking monkey is that everything, or nearly everything is through language… for a human.

Your personal reality,

who you are for yourself,
who you are in the world, and
how the world occurs to you is made up of two components…

and that is true for everyone… that is the human condition…

One part is facts. More or less… depending on how deep inside the cave of the mind you live.

Reality is all facts… The cave is all talking. The proportion of the two will give you what you produce results with, what you produce your life with. Some of my students have as little as 1% of their personal reality is facts.

This situation, the human condition, is getting worse worldwide… People see less and less facts, and more an more ‘narrative’ which is all talk.

2. The second part is made of some speaking. Words. Interpretations and the resulting beliefs. About yourself, and about the world.

Many of these words come from the people in your life… life now, or life before… They KNOW how you are… impatient, angry, hasty, someone who can’t do anything right.
And they keep on repeating
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Maintaining Almost Daily Habits and Commitments

This article has a good idea… it suggests consistency as the way of establishing any new habit and making sure it will happen.

Anything worth doing is worth doing every day… day in, day out.

Meditation, spiritual work, being active, reading, learning… as a campaign they are all doomed to fail… but as a daily practice they build the foundation of a spectacular life.

When established, a daily habit becomes second nature. Just like cleaning your teeth in the morning or taking a shower – it would feel wrong to not do it. However with infrequent habits like music practise 3-6 times per week, or exercise twice per week, taking a day off can cause it to be harder to pick it up again afterwards. Then in one fell sweep your positive habit has been ruined completely, and everyday somehow becomes a holiday from it.

Turn a weekly habit into a daily one.

If you sleep in on Sunday morning, you’ll know how hard it can be to get up on Monday morning. The trick is to get up early every day. Even at the weekend. I always get up at 6am; and find it much easier to maintain if I do it every day. You might think that a life without sleeping in is not worth living for and that it’s really hard to do. But 100% consistency is the best way to do it.

With consistency, a habit should stay on autopilot for most of the time without you having to think about it. Part of the stress of getting up is the conflict between the desires to get up early or late. “Hmm, it’s Sunday, don’t I deserve a lie-in? Won’t I perform better with more sleep? I should really get up and write to the Daily Telegraph about the decline in the duck population.” If you stick with a habit every single day, you eliminate self doubt and uncertainty.

Sequence habits together

Rather than tackling several habits in isolation, link them together in a sequence so they become easier to maintain. My morning routine involves getting up, showering, breakfast, piano practise, a bike ride, then getting on the train to my day job. It’s almost as if the positive feelings from completing each task act as the impetus to start another. If I’m feeling a bit overworked, I can always forego one of the tasks, e.g. piano practise, and go straight to the next one. If the first and last links in the sequence remain, then my less musical routine still stays solid. The idea would be to put habits done 3-5 times per week in the middle of the chain so that they remain stable, even though you skip it some days.

Substitute infrequent habits

If you skip habits every so often by using the sequencing method – you can also substitute those infrequent habits with others, so that at least you are doing something constructive and keeping the routine. If you hit the gym 3 times per week, the other 4 days in the week could be filled with a short walk or some reading. Substituting the task with something similar is best, on your off days for exercise, a short walk is better than painting
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Imagining success, imagining stuff… here is what really happens…

Unless you know what creates your sky high desire number, and your unbridgeable gap between reality and your delusion… you need to learn where it comes from, what feeds it, and what is the feeder’s goal.

Your guiding principle should be: If in 30% you don’t know who is the sucker in the room, then it’s you. You are the sucker.

So how are you made the sucker? And how come you don’t know?

The mind, that storage/imaging device that is part of your brain, is really stupid. It really believes everything it hears.

You do “imagine” exercises, and the mind believes that it’s there.

Now, what good does that do to you? None, I say… no matter what your “wealth conditioning” expert teaches you.

It gives you delusions, and a delusional person becomes the next sucker… plain and simple.
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“You cannot talk butterfly language with caterpillar people” … Really? You speak butterfly?

Many of my visitors fancy themselves butterflies…

When I do their Starting Point Measurements they are caterpillars… with a big ego. With a sky high self-image. A delusional Self above the clouds.

This video is about creating high vibration so you can have what you want, not just a big ego:


Find out more about this magic manifestation method >>>

Please note that they don’t ask for their vibrational reading because they want to know… no. they already KNOW that they are the special butterfly people… When they get their results, they tell me I was wrong, or a fraud, or evil, or whatever. They post on social media. Create a website just to tell everybody how wrong I am.

The behavior, the attitude always gives your real vibration away. For example vengeance, like the woman with Dean as husband… the vibration of that behavior is 70. Nothing wrong, I used to have an even lower vibration… it is not fixed… you can start where you are.

Why would I recommend against thinking yourself butterfly? What may be wrong with that attitude? Doesn’t it make you happy?

No. Your internal tension is probably unbearable… and it’s killing you. How many ways?

Several ways, in fact.
1. If you think you are on the top of the third floor, for example, you’ll want to go higher, or bask in the glory of being on the third floor.
But every interaction you’ll have will be misdirected.
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