Like any mad scientist, I always keep looking to move closer to the horizon that recedes as I am getting closer to it. It seems I am almost there…
But… there is always some boulder is blocking my way.
So what do you do with that boulder in your way?
My answer is quite counter-cultural. I say: you have that boulder there because you need to get familiar, maybe even intimate with it so it will let you continue on your path.
I have been, I am just noticing, making myself miserable.
What got me out of that direction down to desperation, ultimately, a Carlos Castaneda quote:
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Committed? Commitment? What are we talking about?
I was in the Wisdom Course some 20 years ago. The leader asked us to open a new page in our notebook, and draw a vertical line in the middle, separating the page into two columns.
In the left column, he said, write down what you are committed to.
In the right column write down the actions you take regularly in those commitments.
If the right side doesn’t match the left side, cross out the left side. Left side is all talk… right side is reality
The exercise ended in him saying: you are not committed to any of the things you say you are committed to.
I see that in my practice, and honestly, I even see this in my own life… even though I should know better.
Whaat? Yeah… even me.
So let’s talk about commitment, and let’s first redefine it so it is not just talk, that it’s real.
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What comes after the dot dot dot?
You cannot even repeat the sentence…
You cannot do what it explained to do…
It doesn’t do what you were told it would do…
It happens all the time… and it leaves you puzzled, dumbfounded…
If that is you, you MAY belong here. MAY…
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Humility is the opposite of my soul correction: Forget Thyself.
Every single human, whether they admit it or not, feel above average, and smarter than most everyone… and Forget Thyself is the worst.
It is a daily practice of mine to make myself a learning machine… learn from everyone, including my students.
Humility… it’s actually very hard… you need to give credit where credit is due, and every time, it’s human nature, you experience the marker feelings that come along with comparison: someone is better than me… therefore I must be no good.
And to maintain self-confidence at the same time… really requires the mastery the Playground program promises.
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I have decided to re-read the Feelings book, and this time make it a study, memorize the names of the different needs, take a more earnest approach to learning the “language” of the machine that is need-based.
I am feeling a mix of fear and excitement. where? in my stomach, expanding to my chest.
My plan is to read/study the book is to study it at the beginning of my evening reading session for about 10 minutes, and then switch to my “other” book… whatever book I am reading in the evening at the time… currently it is “Curious” by Ian Leslie.
I am reading Curious for the second time, and this time it is, given the chance, going to change something in me and consequently in how I teach, how i guide, and what I expect YOU to do.
What we call intuition isn’t… but WHAT do we call intuition?
The state of the current humanity is chaos. Everyone has an opinion, just like everyone has an a-hole.
So far so good, Sophie… you groan. But from this, honoring one’s opinion as important, comes the mischief: everyone insists that their version of reality… aka their opinion, is the real reality.
Same way about what words mean… words like intuition.
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How to start using your capacity once you had it turned on?
There are certain abilities, that are controlled by genes, that I don’t have, and I want.
So I have asked Source to turn on for me self-control…
Long term meditating properly turns that gene on… Causes an epigenetic shift. This is what is the reason long time meditators, especially TM, transcendental meditation practitioners can do much better in every area of life.
I paid for TM, back in the year 2000, and hated it. I even read the book, and I just could not do it.
It is the self-control gene that was missing… I am like a wild child… Don’t like to be pinned down, even if it is me who is trying to pin myself down.
But… But as an insomniac, it would help me fall asleep faster.
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In search of quick transformation…
This is a long article, first showing what doesn’t work, why, and then it takes you to what does…
One of the things about humans is arrogance.
Arrogance is not what you think it is… arrogance is really an attitude where you assume superiority where you have none…
Which is, in an ordered universe… EVERYWHERE.
But you, in your arrogance, ignore that you were born into some already existing order… and you behave like you can do whatever you goddamn want… and expect that it is going to work.
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Here is how I use responsibility.
An example:
I read Rob Brezsny’s reading for my Zodiac sign and he said
…you now have an extraordinary potential to dream up creative innovations that acknowledge your limitations but also transcend those limitations. You have extra power available to harness your fantasies and instigate practical changes.
So I looked how that could look for me… What is it, what area, where I could dream up creative innovations… Given that that is what I do for a living this must be beyond…
I have been wishing, hoping, that people will raise their cell hydration, after all when your cell hydration is low, your body is in survival mode, which makes you ahem stupid… Or not so very smart.
You, me… Everyone.
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