The idea that I should drag people to heaven, people who kick and scream ‘no’ does not appeal to me.
So I do best with people who can and want to do the work.
Just so you know, it takes an inordinate amount of work to turn oneself from a homo sapiens, living in the culture of homo sapiens into a human being.
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For You Everything Is The Same As Everything Else, Except That Not Always
The statement in the title used to be the koan trainers used to scream, whisper, yell, raucously laugh saying… in the Forum, which eventually became the Landmark Forum.
Of course it didn’t make any sense, because it doesn’t, no, not really. The moment it makes sense it is a lie. This is the case with every insight: the moment the mind gets hold of it, it turns it into a rule, incorporates into its fix-it paradigm, and there goes the magic of it.
With that said, let me share something that shook me to the core today (I get shaken by insights, that’s how MY machine works… lol)
Whether you know it or not, I have been offering, free, three weekly sessions of a training called “Drill calls.”
Originally these were the “let me check your connection to Source” calls, but I found out that connecting to Source has almost no value unless it comes from a healthy place.
There was no person on those calls that came from a healthy place.
All came from the mind, the let’s fix what’s wrong with you, what’s wrong with them, what’s wrong with the world paradigm.
Sounds like an oxymoron, right?
After all unless you inherited your fortune or still live in the 4-star service environment of the womb… there is no such a thing… at least most of us don’t know about it.
I surely didn’t set out with that goal: creating effortless abundance.
Neither effortless nor abundance is part of my upbringing.
In fact I grew up to work hard (effort) and do not waste.
We were poor for a while, and my father never forgot that. But somehow, I became a hoarder.
I got beaten for it, but it didn’t stop me from doing it: hoarded the newspaper, the TV magazine, my mother’s manicure set… whatever I used, I wanted to own it, have instant unlimited access to it.
I lived in lack. It wasn’t real, but it was as real as if I were starving: it was my reality.
I wanted everything. I wanted to taste everything too… so I tasted and purged.
I was very protective of my time too: I would go to sleep around the time my parents left work, sleep through dinner and TV, and get up after they went to bed, to do my school work.
Sharing? No way.
I kept checks and balances and was very sensitive to be always around a balance: another scarcity tactic.
I didn’t have the goal to have abundance, and I didn’t have the goal to have an effortless life.
I remember 1987: just after the big stock market crash in October I lost my freelance job as an architect. I just bought a car, and spent all my savings on that. I was literally penniless.
I was let go between two sessions of a seminar called “More Money Workshop”
It taught that there is nothing missing unless you say so. Hm, that was really new to me. I started to practice not saying so… I never considered changing my mind, I was really hellbent on surviving this unemployment phase without my mind going with it.
My soul correction (Forget Thyself) is hasty. Jumping in, and making mistakes, getting in a mess, scrambling to get out.
Nowadays that we are hunting for the should shouldn’t spouting little voice, I am forced to realize that for me it is not words… it is a push. Or is it a pull?
I am also seeing that many of may I hate that come from that push
So let’s hunt for some hates… and let’s see if this is personal to me, or across the field. Please, I will need your feedback.
There are a few things I can’t tolerate, would not tolerate.
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I am fully in this whole question: how do you enroll your mind that you can? That you are capable. That you can deal with it. That you can win at it?
And I just had an insight.
Everything happens for a purpose, if your life has a purpose. If it doesn’t, then your life is at random, and nothing has a purpose.
Anyway, I found myself super dumb, super mistake prone, super unintelligent today.
Unusual. So I started to look. I was doing the same things that I was really good at yesterday, and today: mistake after mistake, hastiness, guessing… not like the new me at all.
I started to look and listen. And my efforts brought result: I started to hear that I am a knucklehead.
Wow, what happened? “ma pitom” as I would ask it in Hebrew? It means, word by word, what? suddenly! lol
And I was taken to this morning’s screw-up.
I have been wondering if I could tell if a person can be trained or not. What would I see that would tell me yes or no?
I watched a little Grantchester on Amazon Prime yesterday. In one of those episodes the vicar gets laid. His pal almost instantly knows.
A few years ago I saw a woman come out of the hotel elevator in Las Vegas. To me she looked like she had always looked, but a man in our group instantly knew she just got laid.
I verified it with her… But how did he know?
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Alex: was going to post it as a comment on your blog but the captcha image won’t show
Alex: Sophie, you said , ‘You can sell bankers, you can sell partners, but if you don’t sell yourself, your unconvinced, doubting mind will deliver the opposite of what you expect of it.’
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I overslept this morning. Whenever you oversleep, or allow comfort to set in, something sinister happens in the invisible.
Your brain takes your behavior as an instruction that you want to practice for death.
You could call it hibernation, but it is only hibernation if that is what you meant to do. Otherwise it is the state where there is no future.
The first signs are hopelessness. There is no hope. There is no future. Just blah.
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The second move of the machine is to have a persona, or personality… the one everyone knows.
Independent, strong willed, smart, knowledgeable, pretty, nice, creative… all lies.
You paint those over everything to hide that you are not that: you are a real person suffering from no freedom to be yourself, to be any way you want to be: you have to be nice, you have to be smart, you have to be independent… etc.
This second move was borne out of incidents where you fell short of being a match to life. From incidents where you saved the day.
Robin Williams’ machine, the clown machine, ultimately killed him. He was tongue tied, lonely, sad, and an introvert underneath the loud, funny, hyper person he invented to survive as a child.
But your survival tools become a prison, and cause untold sufferings.One of my students decided that the way to make it through life is to be distant, self-protecting, and to keep everyone at arm’s length.As an adult, a mother and grandmother, she is suffering from lack of intimacy, lack of closeness.
Her ‘survival suit’ is protecting her from what she wants most in life. Meaningful close relationships.
The third move is the chattering, judgmental mind with its accompanying emotions and feelings.
This is also a machine, and you have been trying to control it, turn it into your slave, but the more you are fighting it, the more you are trying to control it, the worse you feel, the worse your life becomes.
I accidentally stumbled onto the solution: most thoughts and feelings I experience are not mine, they come from outside.
When I realized that, I started a process that became the solution to the busy mind and ravaging feelings: I managed to create a distance, and I managed thus to give them room to roam, to do what they do, without being much bothered by them.
I found out that a group of scientists created a psychological training program to accomplish the same. They call it ACT.
I have been studying it, and I may teach it, adding to it what only an empath can add: monitoring your behavior, your inner behavior, and feedback, give you personalized strategies… invaluable. And possibly energetic support to develop the capacities faster than you would without it.
The capacities you need for winning in life in spite of the machine
The capacities this ACT method requires of you are allowing, accepting, embracing, making room, stop arguing, stop fighting, stop fixing… drop it or at least curtail it. It’s your behavior and you have control over it.
With practice you can become masterful at accepting, embracing, making room for your thoughts and feelings. And when you become any good at it, you will have time and energy at your hand to do something with your life, something meaningful, something that you can be proud of. To make your life count. To be about more than just surviving your life.
The same capacities also work miracles in your life.
If the young girl had those
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From Steven Wright:
1. I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2. Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.
3. Half the people you know are below average.
4. 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
