Category Archives: The Playground

Are you a taker?


Are you a taker?

Before I get to the question in the title, let’s look at a similar question: what is the difference between a judgment and an assessment?

The difference is subtle.

Judgment:
1. judgment is hiding that personal agenda: the speaker needs to be placed about the judged thing or person to be “authorized” to judge… “I have the right to judge, because I am better, smarter, because I-I-I-I-I whatever. Desire to receive for the self alone.
2. a judgment is always systemic. It uses two pronged concepts, good/bad, right/wrong, smart/stupid… systemic judgments.

Assessment:
an assessment is not building up the speaker’s self-estimation, it is observations about the observed, and mostly not concerned with the systemic (two-pronged aspect of anything), instead extrinsic or intrinsic aspects.

None of the judgment can be verified in reality, while much of the assessment is a part of reality: visible, trackable,

Now let’s return to the original question:

Is being a taker a judgment or an assessment?
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12 steps toward becoming truly who you are: the Playground program


The Playground program: the history
Back in 1988 when I first created the Playground: It is never too late to have a happy childhood, I’d just come out from participating in a 12-step program, similar to AA, but for people who suffered from the behavior of the alcoholic.

It turns out, that a troubled household with troubled parents creates the same symptoms as one with an alcoholic parent: a lack of safety. My parents weren’t alcoholic, but their behavior was erratic. One day I was beaten up for a behavior, the next it was ignored… Nerve wrecking. There was nothing I could count on to be quasi permanent and reliable. It’s a miracle that I didn’t withdraw into schizophrenia.
What’s good about 12-step programs?
Anyway, I liked the environment of a 12-step meeting: the meeting had principles, but it had no coaching, no rebuttal, no arguments, it was a very adult and equals program, as opposed to any other place in the world.

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Why is a dog happy and you are not?


I bet the title of previous article, “Are you a taker” got instantly translated in your head to “Are you bad?”

What you don’t know is that if you are not allowed to take, you won’t be allowed to give… the ultimate stingy… If you are not allowed to live according to your nature, you will do cartwheels to avoid it… even if and even when your nature would take you where you want to go.

There is a major difference between you and your dog. Your dog is happy, and you are not.

It is worth looking into that, because all the psychology articles, all the books, and all the therapy sessions will be un-needed once you get what it is about you that makes you unhappy.
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Delusion of choice, bread of shame, perpetration-withhold… dynamics in the invisible reality


I am like a dog with a bone… and this bone, even though I have talked about it, is going to get some chewing done on… because it is coming up and is in my face.

OK, what am I talking about?

We have been talking about reality… a lot, but mostly we have been talking about the visible part of reality, what the Martian can see.

Now, that is just great, but what about the invisible part of reality, the more than 90% of reality?

Really good and tricky question. The invisible part is, by the way, the “don’t know that you don’t know” part of reality.

But, luckily, we do know some stuff from that invisible part due to some incredibly observant people who can connect the dots… visible, invisible, principles that are true in either area.
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What’s the truth about you? Can you become all you can be from some energies? DNA activation?


As I was looking what others say about DNA activation, I found that they all say something mystical, scientific sounding b.s.

I did something this morning I haven’t done in years: I listened to one of my old webinars, step 6 of the Second Phase Activators.
I didn’t remember, but the subtitle of that course is: “Let’s change what’s true about you”
So Step 6 is about courage-desire-surrender…

The context of the whole course is causing the qualities, the capacities, the abilities in you that allow you to become all you can be.
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Stuff we see we solve, the stuff we don’t see kicks our ass


Turning the impossible possible…. results in flow

I have been listening to a podcast… two and a half hour long, so I can take only a half hour here, a half hour there…

The sentences above are from that podcast… a conversation about how to get into your flow state.

Because I have client with a half-done Juice Exercise call, I am looking for some help in that podcast… some more inspiration than I already have… More faith, more confidence…

…while I am pondering why don’t more people apply, apply in droves, to see what gives them juice?
Because once you see it and see it accurately, bring it out of the invisible, you feel that you have to.
Let me ask you a question? When you are hungry, do you feel that you have to eat? Of do you feel that you want to eat? That eating is good for you?

Can you see what I am saying? The Juice Exercise brings to light what gives you a sense of joy, what allows you to feel energized, hooked up, alive, turned on… by allowing you to see what it is.
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The main principle of life: The Anna Karenina Principle… the invisible thread that ties it all together


Here is another illustration of the main principle of life: The Anna Karenina Principle… the strait and narrow

I have been using Freecell as a training tool for myself.

Slow going, because sight, going from not seeing to being clear of what you are seeing is not a simple, one-step process… and playing Freecell well uses the sight… or shall I say Sight?

Today I even saw that it uses many of the principles, or better said: obeys many of the principles I write about.
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Everybody teaches you the shadow-work of Plato’s Cave not reality that casts the shadows.


Confession: You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me

One of your most defining characteristics as a person is, whether you are an optimist or a pessimist.

But the common, and ordinary way to look at those attitudes is inane… as in stupid and near-sighted.

Most words are defined with unreality as their focus… when you’ll start to see it, that is when your vocabulary start to hit the level where you can actually see some of reality, not just the “map” of reality.
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This is, still, my favorite TED talk… Amazing TED talks to enrich your concept of emotions, feelings, and self-image


Here is one… what makes it stand out is the passion, and the using of sound effects… her own voice, really authentic… I really loved it.

But what makes it really my favorite, that my clients and students who have been in a quandary about who they are… are starting to see the importance of recognizing the pattern this TED talk introduces: how you make up a new identity that is wholly inauthentic to you.

I am on a roll… I will be watching, and posting if I find the TED talk useful.

Two things about this coming TED talk: the more views a talk has, the more the talker speaks the common man’s language, beliefs, and stuff… words that are inaccurate.

Regardless, this is a good talk. Not excellent, but good, and worth your time.

I always check if my female students will relate to it… and if it is a yes, I’ll post it.

This one passed the test… Even if you never got anything I said in The Playground, you’ll benefit from this one… so please watch it. It can change your life, and start you on the path to what you always wanted: freedom, easy, power…
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The difference between information (knowing) and transformation


As you know, I have been learning the difference between information and transformation the hard way…

Even though I have “known” this difference already ten years ago (I have a video of myself to prove it,) even the knowledge of that isn’t transformation.
Transformation is when your actions are consistent with the new knowledge, consistently.
My basic training is architecture, and my five year training, plus the two years to do all the calculations (a second graduate degree), it was all about doing, very little about knowing.

I had classmates who knew all the formulas, but couldn’t solve the problems. I could solve all the problems, if someone gave me the formulas, which I consistently and stubbornly refused to memorize.
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