Avoidance of success… but it is more natural than you think.
It sounds nonsensical that you would fear success, but most likely you do.
That fear comes from unclarity.
Success feels daunting, it feels like a big freakin’ should.
It has happened to my clients. Someone was doing quite well. became the top of the class, and bam, dropped it all, and dropped below the level they were at when they started.
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What are the most typical signs of stupid… aka low or no intelligence?
First off, what do I consider intelligent?
Intelligent, if you look, has a certain appropriateness. Flow. Fitting. Maybe even elegance. Maybe even grace and ease. Workability. Life working.
Nowadays we hear a lot about AI, artificial intelligence chatbots. Notice that they don’t call it artificial smarts… It’s intelligence.
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I woke up too early again this morning. 2:30. The question was: shall I get up? Will I have a good day?
I muscletested and muscletest says: get up… but in the end I went back to bed… And I had this insight:
All questions, is this good, is this bad, shall I do this?, shall I do that? are all a variation of should…
All are signs of not willing to take responsibility of how life turns out.
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If you look fixers want to fix the world. You, me, things. Everything. They are most people. The campaigners, the reddit, twitter, etc posters… They want to fix you, and they want to fix the world.
Why?
Because it is not the way they want you to be, they want me to be, things to be.
They are never happy, they are never fulfilled. They just complain, and label, and go around telling you, me, things, the world how we should be.
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This is the way the cookie crumbles: your life, the quality of your life depends on you.
I’ve read somewhere that people are only curious about something they already know. Not ‘know about’ but actually know. Had experience with.
Knowing about is idle curiosity: useless.
You don’t know the river until you wade into it.
You don’t know a person unless you wade in and deal with him.
And you don’t know a poem until you try to say it out loud.
In my last article spoke of the methodology of poking the box. Poking the box so what I don’t know that I don’t know can pop out and make itself known.
It only works when I NEED to know why something doesn’t work and how it could. Idle curiosity doesn’t activate it.
Having a very sick client who can’t let go of her hero act has been one thing that created a real need. An unless. Do or die. Also urgent. That unless I can find out how to dislodge her whole ‘personal reality’ that I didn’t know how to do I was going to have a dead client at hand.
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I have always wondered why the United States of America is one of the unhealthiest countries.
And today I got my answer:
In America it is not hip to be sick or ill.
It is only hip to continue doing what you have been doing, work, being a hero, and still expect to get well.
Why? Because you know better? You have no idea!
What do you think heals you? Medication? Healing energy?
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Today I got to go deeper in the shoulds.
I actually saw that every single thing that causes you, causes Man to be miserable, is a should in one form or another.
What lead me on is this:
I woke up, as planned, at 3 am.
But I didn’t immediately get up. I wanted to measure if my healing client has maintained the healing I worked so hard last night on.
She didn’t. So I grieved a little… and then fell asleep. Next time I woke up it was 4:30. I heard in my head: I should have gotten up when I woke up.
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I am on a ‘cooking Hungarian’ spell…
So yesterday I looked up how others make spinach in Hungary.
To my utter surprise and maybe mortification, more than half of the recipes put bread into the dish.
That’s not how I know it! I can’t eat bread!
Both of those are hidden ‘shoulds’…
So today I made the dish exactly like they say.
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Your life is decided at around age three. Until that point you were totally unconscious. Your first event when some consciousness is present happens in an incident.
One of my clients ran a race then. I assume it was kindergarten. She won. She told her father. And instead of getting what she expected she got something else: you could have run faster, his father said… unaware of the how his words would be understood.
She heard ‘I don’t measure up’ to some yardstick in the sky. And she decided that the solution was to pretend that she is trying…
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