Sometimes, actually quite often, changing one word could be the difference between living a life in quiet desperation and living a life in excitement and eagerness…
But what is the word? What is the word that makes the spirit that has been dormant in you open its eyes and say… let’s go? Let’s fly.
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Some of my students are starting to see that if they didn’t have the self-concern: The ITCH, they would react to life differently, they would be less upset, they would have a life, maybe, worth living.
So how does this work?
When you are in reality, things are as they are. A is A.It is what it is.
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In fact, it is not just success, but any supposedly positive outcome as the focus, as the destination will cause a failed life. As certainly as that the sun will come up in the morning.
I have a student who wants to be worthy.
The question to ask: why? Why would you want to be worthy?
All your wants are fueled by a desire to fix.
It is human nature, it is not personal. What is personal is what you want to fix… not the desire to fix. The desire to fix is universal.
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In February 1988 my career as an architect ended with a whimper
It went out like a light.
I was 41 years old.
I was sure I had nothing to offer, I had no value, and I had no future.
It felt like I was on a stormy sea, on a ship, and had no control where the ship was going. I was not the captain, I didn’t hold the levers and dials in my hand.
Until that point I went wherever the ship went, and did what I could: do a good job, or not, wear clothes, read books, and be a passenger.
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When I was a kid I read a book about Sam Small, The Flying Yorkshireman. I read it in Hungarian… It was easier to read in Hungarian than in English… Ugh… that Yorkshire accent in writing… impossible to tolerate.
Anyway, this Sam Small could fly. And I decided that I wanted to fly too. I spent all my imagination… what it would be like to fly.
Unfortunately all my fancies were about escaping… I don’t know what it is about me: I still have nightmares about escaping, and there is always flying.
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I thought I would report on the Moneyroots workshop… given the seemingly no interest… Four people, the same four people paid for both workshops.
That made it very easy for me: I didn’t have to repeat anything… I am not good at repeating, my brain isn’t good at that. My brain is like the adventurers of the North Pole… may stop to sleep, to refuel, but then it charges on.
Anyway, forgive me when I say it: anyone who didn’t sign up is a moron.
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I have been working with my core group… and some of them I have had a difficult time to see why they never put out, why they never do what is theirs to do.
This article to unwrap that issue… and look at behavior differently. The student is judgmental… Has high, impossible standards for others… So let’s see what she could do so she could become a productive person, and maybe love herself…
The dysfunctional family
Here are some behaviors that I say come from this kind of upbringing… growing up in a dysfunctional family.
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One of the signs of intelligence is for someone to be able to see and actually see the big picture.
To see you need to look. Look and see.
Most never look. Or when they look they are looking for something, which means they narrow their cone of vision… to minuscule width.
Results: most people never see what there is to see.
Today the average intelligence is not high enough for the average intelligence person to even appreciate looking wide and deep… Even the average asks: look for what?
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Below that it’s discontent. This is true in any area. Health, wealth, love and fulfillment (aka work).
It seems that most of life can be lived somewhat safely without consciousness. Consciousness is activated with a type of thinking. Thinking things out, deeply. Without that kind of thinking there is no consciousness.
Animals get on quite well without thinking things out, without consciousness. And for millions of years they are still around, more or less.
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I read someone’s email this morning and in it the dude says: It is important to bet on the person and not on the deal
Why? Because deals are a dime a dozen
So, he says, it is import to bet on the process no on the result… not on the pot of gold.
And if there is a person going to do the process… hell, you should bet on the person first and only if you deem you should, only then bet on the process.
It is the classic example of not putting the cart in front the horse…
But, alas, knowing what to bet on and in what order requires a little bit of thinking.
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