I like to start my day with Reddit. Reddit is a site with lots of different threads and topic, and some days it can give you an insight you could never have anywhere else.
Today was one of those days.
The topic was Anti-choice, unless it’s my choice
And the choice or no-choice was abortion.
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I had an important and eye-opening insight today. A looking back…
Let me tell you the story so you get the fact that the likelihood of me ever discovering this was between none and zero.
It began some 30 years ago.
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Freddie Mercury, Anne, Me… About Death And Dying, About Shedding The False Self: A Series Of Small Deaths.
I am not a pop music aficionado, but I went to check out Freddie Mercury because my horoscope by Rob Brezsny recommended that I be like him.
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No matter how skillful the guidance, the teaching, the coaching, the results will depend on the guided… On their skill and diligence.
And willingness.
Any guidance, any teaching, any coaching is choosing. And when you choose, unless you unchoose something you’ll stop and flail and stop moving.
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How you look at something changes what you see. Everywhere.
If you manage to change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
This is a PhD level statement… and a popular meme. But that is the essence of context.
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I just finished listening to a 30-minute audio where the dude was sharing how great he was, what great things he does, and how much money he was going to make with it.
I muscle tested. His narcissistic measure from the Starting Point Measurements) was 99%.
Then I muscle tested if he loves himself… and the answer was no.
Self love is a function of integrity.
His level of integrity is 1%.
Why so low?
Because the context is all about him, building himself up, tooting his own horns, and it is fully and wholly desire to receive for the self alone.
I have literally stopped buying his products, or attending his live classes I have been paying for. I listen to the replays, but won’t go and sit there hating him, and feeling dumped upon, or being sold.
So what is going on, and what is underneath this behavior?
This is one of the attitudes, one of the behaviors that bother me a lot. This is when someone positions themselves higher than they have ‘earned’ to be.
It is not rare, it is almost everyone, whether it evident through their words or not.
What am I talking about?
You, for example, think you are not good enough… so it wouldn’t apply to you, right?
Wrong.
It is part of the human condition even though it defies any reasonable thinking.
You have two selves. One that is your imaginary self who can do things. Who can rescue puppies, and talk to thousands… in your imagination.
And then you have the person, the self, who bumbles through life, and can’t do anything right… all in comparison. Comparison with the hero self… who doesn’t exist.
The tension between them, the judgment between them, the dislike between them is what gives you your quality of life.
What?
That dude who is a perfect 10 in everything in his imagination is really a seven or less in everything he does.
Not a big gap? Tell him that. He, unconsciously, compares himself with perfection, and he suffers. He knows. And he knows that his life is a lie…
He can’t tolerate just being a good guy, he has to be the best of the best.
And he can’t.
And he suffers.
I see this or versions of this in my clients…
Most won’t do a lick of work, but that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about the two selves, the self-hate, the ‘can’t tolerate being just a guy’ syndrome.
Most people have a bigger than big gap between their two selves, the imaginary, the ideal, the unreal, and the actual person who is doing things in reality.
Until you are likeable to yourself, you are not likeable to others either.
So what can you do if your two selves are not able to like each other?
You may need to ‘attack’ this issue from two sides. You want to get the two selves closer so they can hug.
Lowering your self-evaluation, your ideal is the more effective of these two actions, but you may still need to do both to get the two selves closer.
You need to lower the bar…
One of my clients decided to get up an hour earlier every
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Some 35 years ago I participated in a Creativity Seminar. Creativity: LIVING at risk.
It taught: move towards the fear, call it excitement.
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Part of my job as a ‘evolver’ (evolver as in causing the evolution) of the human race is to see what is the wrong.
To see what is unsustainable, untenable about human attitude and behavior. Why is it that humanity, time and time again destroys itself starting over from nothing.
I am starting to see that it is the possession and power over things and others… the hunger and the desire for more and more, better, and different.
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…meaning the most effective way to get from loser to winner in life
Nowadays all I am talking about is controlling your attention. I talk about self-discipline. Causing your plane land on the airstrip no matter how the wind blows.
You expect that from a pilot… but you don’t expect it of yourself.
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There is a science to create worthlessness, embedded in your life script
Yesterday during our Context Workshop I shared each participant’s picture with others… if we were on zoom everyone would have known how everybody else looks, but I do my workshops on gotowebinar… because it works for me.
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