One great way I have discovered to see the hidden aspects of people that I would not be able to see through my ability as an empath is to get on a video call, but not have my video turned on.
But ask the other to keep their video open.
It is amazing how people don’t experience being seen unless they see you.
I don’t do this often enough. But I should… because of what becomes observable.
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You have two selves. Everyone has two selves. One is your real self, impervious to attacks, slights.
‘That is not true’, you say. ‘I feel like I am attacked, I feel every slight is an attack on me.’
Yeah, this is all true what you say if you identify yourself with your precious I, the second self.
The precious I is an invented self, and it is the sum total of all your aspects.
One of the differences is that a 1000 always has a coach or coaches… mentors, people they talk to regularly, who are, in certain respects, ahead of them. People who can see what they can’t see.
See principles, distinctions, aberrations, errors, false steps, causation.
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This morning I started to read my one non-fiction book for the quarter. John Carlton’s The Entrepreneur’s Guide To Getting Your Shit Together
I wish I have read it a decade or two ago. It would have made a huge difference.
It brought to light a ‘delusional’ worldview I have, where I expect people to do what I would do.
I’d never realized, and I am in shock. I am mortified, and it is, sometimes, too late, even though it’s not over till the fat lady sings. But I think it may be too late for me, but it is not too late for you.
So I am sharing it, even though I look bad… I am OK with that.
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Most lives are like that… never really getting from A to B…
I just read something really profound that can change your life.
Don’t think about being consistently great. It’s a trap. It’s impossible. Think about being great at being consistent. It’s a reliable path to growth and achieving one’s potential that makes a lot more sense.
Replace ‘great’ with whatever you are weak at…
One of my students invented herself being excellent… and it has proven to be harmful. It acted like a straitjacket she needed to escape from.
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At or after your original incident, you invented yourself first.
In fact, most people invented themselves many times… creating themselves as a layer cake.
I am not a baker. My mother didn’t have a working oven until I was about 10… maybe that’s why I never warmed to cookies and cakes.
But I am a brick mason… and bricks are laid much like the layers of a cake. If the previous layer was crooked, the wall will be crooked, and maybe it will even fall down.
The created self is crooked. Each layer tells a story that doesn’t quite fit with the other layers.
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Are you stingy with yourself? Do you say you don’t deserve?
You may be. And you may be right.
One of the obvious signs of stinginess with yourself is that you don’t give yourself enough time to do what there is to do, enough time so you could actually ENJOY what you are doing.
I call this ‘homework attitude’, where you are more interested in checking an activity off your todo list than actually doing it, enjoying it, savoring it.
And to no one’s surprise, you can do everything with this homework stingy attitude. Sex. Conversations. Dinner. Reading. And, of course, the 67 steps.
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A house divided against itself cannot stand, said Abraham Lincoln, invoking a biblical truth.
Congruence = agreement or harmony; compatibility. Congruent = in agreement or harmony.
Pretense, lying, you and your actions not saying the same thing leads to no success.
An inner division, lack of integrity, lack of authenticity is the main reason you are not successful, because your energies are divided and fight against each other, instead of using that same energy to get things done. To accomplish. To produce.
Criminals are happier than you. Hitmen are happier than you.
You need to decide who you are… and stick with your decision. In words and in action.
Hi Sophie,
I’m still here in the thick of these holidays, holiday that I don’t even like. Still visiting friends. Having house guests. Feeling myself become more and more discombobulated.
I started to feel myself beginning to panic the way I used to. Thinking ‘I’m falling behind!’. ‘I want to get back to my 67 steps!’. ‘Sophie will wonder where I disappeared to!’. ‘my vibration is sinking!’. ‘I am out of my routine, the sky is falling!’
I had to stop myself and consider, ‘what would Sophie do?’
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All people are stingy but don’t know it. (stingy: unwilling to give or spend; ungenerous)
Why? Because when you say stingy, you also need to specify what way. How. What they are not willing to give, reciprocate, provide, spend or invest in, because that is what they are stingy with.
And unless you know what lands as stingy in the world, for another, you cannot change it because, I think, you are justified.
You don’t have enough. You don’t see that it is necessary. Or it would render you below another… somehow.
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