…or how you are a one-legged person trying to win an ass-kicking contest
I have been experimenting.
I have run two experiments among the many that have brought results I did not expect. Results that told me that I have been one of these one-legged people.
Read the rest of the article
Yesterday I had a huge whatever it is you call when you end up with cream on your face… cream from a cream pie.
I had been dismayed that my clients aren’t getting the gap, and therefore they don’t present me with real coaching opportunities.
I am intentionally writing this in a self-deprecating way, because I am, I have been humbled.
How? I said: it is easy…
…and then wanted to think of an example, and could not.
Introducing The bridge building process to get from where you are to where you want to be
One of the hardest thing for people, as I see, is to come up with the bridge between a dream and actions.
You can have the most amazing dream for the future, for a business, if you don’t know what actions to take to get there the dream will remain a dream… unfulfilled.
Read the rest of the article
If you want to get the most: focus on one thing in a program
In my Friday Podcast with Bonnie this past Friday it became clear that the methodology of using courses, coaching calls, programs is not taught anywhere, so each person feels that they need to make up their own method. Each coach, each participant.
By methodology I mean: how to get the most out of a course, a coaching call, a program.
In this article I’ll teach the most effective way to get the most out of anything. Literally anything you do.
Read the rest of the article
The secret is SEEING.
Seeing is a metaskill, says the visual artist.
He probably meant a skill that takes you to the next century. Because it is undeniable that as the world changes, the skillset that makes people make a living even now is not enough to make a living in the future…
Meta, the word, means a go-between. Like a bridge. Going between one and another piece… Like the gap between two things.
And maybe I am twisting words, but unless you have that bridge between how it is, and how you envision it, there is no path.
When I look at the people I have trained, I have consulted, I have had conversations with, the most obvious missing skill was this bridge: seeing it, building it, walking it.
Read the rest of the article
If you know you are stuck… stuck in a rut, stuck in a behavior, in a cycle, in a predictable outcome, or maybe you are stuck on a plateau… What you may want to consider that you need energy to move away from that place.
In this article I’ll show you two methods to create the energy to move.
Read the rest of the article
How You Lost Your Harmony, Flow And Grace
If You Have Lost Them, How To Get Them Back
What is this article about?
It is about how the mind is an aberration, how it is like a cancer, how it enrolls you, makes you lose your harmony, flow and grace
This article will need me to distinguish a few things, for you.
Please bear with me: it will be worth it.
First distinction: Tree of Knowledge.
Tree of Knowledge is a personal phenomenon: if you heard it, learned from another, and it wasn’t your personal experience, any such knowledge is Tree of Knowledge.
This doesn’t mean it is not true, it only means that you don’t know what you think you know. You heard that. Your mind accepted it as true. But Tree of Knowledge will not influence how you are, because there was no learning process, training process.
Second distinction: Your purpose in life
I invented a purpose for my life some 20 years ago, in a seminar called Integrity.
The process they used was unique, maybe a little off the wall, but it worked really well for me.
The assignment was: observe your life and locate a recurring event or phenomenon that you really can’t stand. Turned it on its head and make a purpose of it for your life.
Some people are always disappointed that all their efforts don’t produce results and no matter how much they effort, however right they are, however perfectly they do what they do, they tend to end up empty handed.
Others are givers. Give advice, give favors, but somehow no one appreciates them and they are lonely and miserable in the end.
Yet another may go along, unsuspecting, and always crash and burn…
I used to be one of this third group.
Somehow I always went too close to the edge, in business, in relationship, in my health. I went to the edge and crashed and burned. I had to start it all over again.
So I would move from one country to the other, one state to the other, one business to another, with just one suitcase, and be homeless for a while, starve, build something respectable, maybe even magnificent, crash and burn and start again. Got it?
Instead of worrying about the why, even worrying about the how, this exercise asked me to turn it upside down. It didn’t tell me to ask whose fault it is. It didn’t ask me to fix myself or the world. Also, it didn’t ask what is wrong with you? No. It simply said:
Turn it around and make it your life’s purpose.
Makes sense? Not really. Why?
Because the mind doesn’t like it.
I have facilitated this exercise with about a hundred people, and although their mind was fighting it tooth and nail, each ended up with a purpose statement that was an excellent backbone, an excellent context for a life that is fun, creative, and forward moving.
The sentence I came up with, for myself, is this:
‘Living on the edge, generating distinctions of transformation for humankind.’
As you see, I did not change the habit of living on the edge. I just added a ‘to what end?’, a meaning to
Read the rest of the article
Boys… I used to want to be a boy.
They seem unperturbed. They laugh a lot.
Today I prefer to be a woman. But as a child I really KNEW something was missing, and for years I thought it was cut off…
I really love this picture. It tells me that boys have more fun.
I remember sitting on the potty waiting for my navel to burst. And I knew it was only a matter of time. I KNEW that I was mutilated below, and I was mutilated there. Although I didn’t know what was cut off, I knew that whatever it was I needed it.
I was 3-4 years old. My feet didn’t touch the ground yet.
I knew I wasn’t welcome, I knew that boys had more of everything. They were loved more. And knew it was permanent.
Read the rest of the article
In most activities, the goal, the context of the activity is at least two-fold.
Let’s see how it is through a few examples:
You want to Lose weight:
Losing weight can come from wanting to lose weight to look better, feel better, fight off diabetes, etc. And losing weight can come from wanting to take back control of your life: live according to your will instead of your whim.
You want to win a football game:
to look good, be celebrated, make lots of money
to be the best you can be at something you love
or to be part of the winning team
One of the transformational moves I use with my students is ‘flipping the context.’
Context is decisive, and the context inside which you live your life is what makes your life great or horrible… not what happens to you.
Read the rest of the article
