Tag Archives: adult as a possibility

Little Known Ways to Stop Procrastinating Homework

The most important thing to know about procrastination is that it’s an avoidance tactic.

We all have it, it is a matter of degrees. Successful people, successful students avoid what they have to do, in this case doing their homework, less of the time. But just know: every time the idea of doing comes up: the idea of avoidance comes up too.

What is the difference between a student that chooses doing their homework and a student that chooses to do avoidance?

The difference is not so much in the moment, but in the students approach to life and studying in general.

Context is decisive, goes the saying. Context is the why of an activity.
Context answers the why would you do that? Why do you want it? To what end would you do it? What’s in it for you?

A good student has answered that question differently from the avoiding student.
A good student could have picked an goal, like getting educated, getting good grades to get into a good college, getting good grades to please my mother, learning to work my mind, etc. etc. etc.

A bad student considers learning useless, a waste of time, something that was imposed on them. They, potentially, consider liberty: doing what they want to do when they want to do it, and not doing what they don’t want to do… when they don’t want to do it, more important than freedom, what they ultimately crave. The freedom to be themselves.

Nietzsche, a famous German philosopher, called that behavior “infantile will to power”… which means, that when you do avoidance tactic, you are acting like a belligerent young child, maybe even a baby, crying for the bottle.

One of the most valued capacities for a human is maturity. Behaving and using your adult capacities… choosing, saying no, the ability to be with, and be effective in spite of negative emotions, pain, or bad thoughts.

And another invaluable capacity of an adult is to choose the context carefully, choose it to help them through the difficulties of dealing with unpleasant feelings, memories, and emotions, successfully, so they move forward in life.

The biological age of a person can be 70, but their behavior can alternate between 5 years old and 15 years old: I know, I have a client like that, lol.

Band-aid type solutions like the ones this following article teach are just that: band-aids.

As procrastination is part of being human, it is common to put off the tasks we are not fond of in order to do more pleasurable tasks.

Homework is one of the most common tasks that gets deferred. Although it seems impossible, it is possible to stop procrastinating homework assignments and have more time to spend doing more pleasant activities.

These simple steps can assist you in using your time more effectively.

First, ensure that you have a quiet, comfortable place to sit down and think. Ensuring that you have everything you need at hand to finish the task will eliminate unnecessary diversions.

Focusing on the task at hand without
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Spirituality and Personality: The Psycho-Spiritual Controversy

If you have been involved in either therapy or counselling, or spirituality and meditation, in recent years you have probably encountered two basic, polarized viewpoints concerning personality. Essentially it amounts to this: therapists are pro-personality (and its improvement through healing neurosis etc.) while spiritual teachers proclaim personality a big waste of time, since neurotic or not, you are more than your personality.

This is not particularly surprising, since therapy and counseling tend to be concerned with the individual, while spiritual practices are concerned with higher matters. But it does lead the novices and beginners into a quandary where they are faced with the decision of what to do about personality. On the one hand, therapy could be an expensive, futile effort to better the personality, whereas, on the other hand, spiritual practice may offer an excuse to leave personal problems behind, with the justification that you are moving on to more lofty concerns.

In the extensive time I have been engaged in therapy and spirituality I can say that I have discovered the answer to this controversy! And I don’t say it without reluctance and a certain caution, since my answer is liable to offend both camps — therapists and spiritual teachers. Perhaps my answer is less a rejection or abandonment of one viewpoint for another and more of a synthesis. This may be an answer of the best kind – the kind that doesn’t marginalize or dismiss anyone’s experience or viewpoint. For my answer, while radically new and innovative, does not fundamentally disagree with either point of view, but considers each appropriate to the complex, total unfolding process of our human nature and potential.

My answer to the dilemma is to propose a third band of human experience. I call this “the authentic self” and since I am not using any unusual words I need to define this term, because I do mean something specific. The authentic self, in the way I use the term, is the bridge between the personality and the spiritual self. It is arrived at usually, but not always, after a lengthy period of intensive, deep, applied and consistent inner work. This inner work consists of a journey of self-discovery in which one circumvents the self, becoming increasingly aware of the conscious and unconscious material that comprises one’s sense of self, or ego. This involves character, which is essentially defensive strategy or an intelligent, protective reaction to early conditioning, which becomes increasingly calcified and adapted throughout adolescence and adult life. Character is composed of the way in which we survive and protect ourselves from inner and outer stimuli and ultimately avoid really meeting life. It creates a self-imposed prison — limitations in which we feel falsely safe.

Self-discovery also involves cultivating our awareness of personality, or the way in which character (defenses and strategies) is experienced. Both inwardly and outwardly we
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Soul-Correction: Self-Esteem. Low or high… inaccurate!

You must have heard that problems with one of the senses are usually compensated for through increased sensitivity of other senses or organs. For example, persons that had lost their hearing may delight in particularly acute eyesight or the sense of smell.

You can hear better in darkness where your eyes are disengaged, or with your eyes closed.
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The new worry epidemic

This article is long… the original writer was probably paid for each word… In spite of my intent to edit it, I could not make it shorter.

The gist of it is that instead of using our god given ability to think to think things through, to plan, to prevent, we use it instead to worry… Worry is unproductive and makes absolutely no difference. In fact, it makes you stupid… Very stupid, unprepared, make emotional decisions, avoid action… in simple terms, to become a Shrinking Human… instead of an Expanding Human Being.

Oh, and it also makes you sick… if being sick and stupid with worry weren’t enough.

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How we end up marrying the wrong people


I am against marriage.
Anyone who is FOR the Original Design has to be against marriage. Marriage is a contract. It is a legal institution mandating that you don’t change, that you don’t seek your own path, that you enslave yourself to the other, to the shared.

Until this past Wednesday I believed that it’s society that wants you to be enslaved, that wants you to forgo your individuality, your chance of a life as a Human Being, but a conversation with a student introduced me to an aspect I wasn’t aware of: the HUSBAND. And probably the WIFE in many cases.

In the conversation with this student I was introduced to marriage as ownership. Yeah I have seen it in movies. Yeah… but movies are movies… and the reality of this aspect of marriage didn’t hit me with full force until it was right there for me to see as a formidable opponent in me guiding my student to become an Expanding Human Being…
Marriage is all about power
Marriage is all about power. Not personal power, political power… where politics is a term for “power over another”, or “power over others.” The stripping of others from their rights to be Human Beings… and reducing them to bumbling idiots, slaves, serfs, have not’s, lesser beings.

Politics is using another person for your own gratification, for your own “rise”, for your own benefit, without giving them value for value, equal rights.

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Happiness, Unhappiness…


Osho’s article will resonate with a view that is closest to the Western view: look at the positive. I actually think that the approach has been damaging, because it quietly, silently, makes wrong the aspect of things, the aspect of people that you don’t like, don’t approve, don’t accept, don’t want.

Simply says: it perpetuates the cause of your unhappiness and then it masks it with a pretense of happiness… a lie.

When you are told “I’ll teach you how to be happy” you expect to be taught tricks and stuff, and you will be cheated: because all the doing won’t do a thing, will just make you a pretender. And although others may not know, you, deep inside, will know that you are more unhappy than you were before.

You could read Osho by fully embracing that he says yes to both sides, what you like and what you don’t like. Both are there.

The approach we take in the Happiness Coaching program, and even stronger in the Playground, that most of what you don’t like is not even real. You made it up, from the limited perspective of a child, and now you are stuck with it, unless you slowly and somewhat painfully get to seeing the truth.

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off…

The operative word is “first”.

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Your emotional baseline and your chances for success


I read a very interesting article today. It is about being able to predict from how you were as a baby and toddler your chances for success, your chances for being smart, your chances for aberrant, deviant behavior, like crime or addictions.

And although most of you, if you read it, will be resigned to how you turned out, or alternatively argue till you are hoarse with the predictions, there is a more constructive way to read the article: get guidance.

Of course, if you are already having trouble in life, you are habitually relating to everything as a good reason to get depressed, turn to the bottle, get angry, or eat more m&m’s, but if you are not quite there, there is the guidance I recommend that you get:

All of those signs you demonstrated as a toddler are correctable by the Bach Flower Energies.

If you have a propensity for being impatient, wanting immediate gratification, not being able to hang in there and do what you need to do even if it is tedious, or unsuccessful at the moment, the Bach Flower Energy Impatience will increase your capacity for more patience, so you can actually get something done, learn something, hang in there.

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12 steps toward becoming truly who you are: the Playground program


The Playground program: the history
Back in 1988 when I first created the Playground: It is never too late to have a happy childhood, I’d just come out from participating in a 12-step program, similar to AA, but for people who suffered from the behavior of the alcoholic.

It turns out, that a troubled household with troubled parents creates the same symptoms as one with an alcoholic parent: a lack of safety. My parents weren’t alcoholic, but their behavior was erratic. One day I was beaten up for a behavior, the next it was ignored… Nerve wrecking. There was nothing I could count on to be quasi permanent and reliable. It’s a miracle that I didn’t withdraw into schizophrenia.
What’s good about 12-step programs?
Anyway, I liked the environment of a 12-step meeting: the meeting had principles, but it had no coaching, no rebuttal, no arguments, it was a very adult and equals program, as opposed to any other place in the world.

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I am personally offended… How can they do this to me?


I am personally offended… How can they do it to me? How dare it rain on my wedding day? How dare my husband lie to me? How dare my son pee in his bed?

What drives this thought process? Is it personal pride? Wrongful Pride? Ego? Self-importance? What is it?

If Ego is not what we were told it was, then where does “personally offended” come from?

I am sitting at my computer. It’s a beautiful day, Saturday. Suddenly a I hear a car horn urging someone to do something. Then again.

I feel the corners of my mouth curve down: I am personally offended. They are honking and it bothers me. They don’t behave the way they should: shut the f… up. Respect my peace and quiet.

Yesterday a plumber did some work in the downstairs apartment. He didn’t air out the pipes and it broke the my water filter when the air and water came rushing out in bursts instead of steadily flowing water, the way it SHOULD BE.

Personally offended.

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Your childhood holds the keys to your redemption, to your happiness, to your success


Humans are the most vulnerable creatures of the Planet. They are not big enough, they are not strong enough, to protect themselves effectively from being harmed by predators or nature.

The only reason humans, as a species have survived so far is because of humans’ use of the brain to create protection from predators and the elements.

Nothing has changed: we, humans, are as vulnerable as every, but we have forgotten that the survival of the species depends on each individual in the species: it cannot be delegated to authorities, police, the medical establishment and the like. It has to happen on the individual level first and foremost.

We pretend not to know, because we really don’t care, that for a child to grow up healthy, the child needs a supportive environment with a sense of safety, including emotional safety.

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