Tag Archives: attitude

Did Your Personality Get Put Together vs. You Were Born That Way?

I got a thank you note today. I get quite a few of those, I must admit.

They are a great way for me to track how the methodologies and principles I use in my teaching work. I mean, how effective I am, how effective the methods are. They track my ability to make a difference in the world. (Someone please remind me to write about how I view my making a difference… OK?)

This note reads
Today was a huge success. I did not even recognize myself. I was attempting to have a conversation with my sister when she became extremely aggressive upon trying to control me and failing. She was in my face yelling and pacing around in circles. I remained calm and did not attempt to defend myself as the lies flew at me. I was able to stick to the subject and not accuse. At this point her husband jumped in and tried to intimidate me, pointing his finger in my face and yelling. They both looked like mad men ganging up on me. I did not raise my voice or get emotional. This is the first time in my life I had no fear in a confrontational situation and it felt GREAT! To be honest I think it frightened my sister & her husband. They did not know what to think of me, I have had many weaknesses in the past but now I am strong.

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Make your plane go where you want it to go… or what one thing you want to learn from Babe Ruth

Make your plane go where you want it to go…

This is probably the most shocking sentence in the whole 67 step program.

I literally don’t know anyone who lives that way.

People try to succeed, try a diet, try this and try that… while their plane crashes in every area.

So what is the difference between who are like that, who are on their way to become that kind of person, and others who never ever land their plane on the landing strip?
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Can you pinpoint your attitude with 100% certainty?


How do you know, how can you tell what is your attitude?
I have always wondered where good acting comes from… acting that almost no American actor does well… almost, I said.

But where do the attitudes that give the foundation of a scene originate.

But this morning I got really lucky. I saw a few interviews with Larry Thomas who played the Soup Nazi in Seinfeld.

In all of Seinfeld that I never saw on television but have the whole however many seasons, downloaded onto my PC, that was my favorite part… the Soup Nazi.

I was sure, until today, that the episode and the character wasn’t an actor. Why? It was so real… Authentic. I think I have even written about it before…

Anyway, watching and FEELING this actor create the inner dynamic of this character brought it to my conscious awareness that I FEEL the muscles of my face move, documenting the creation of the attitude… whether it’s mine or someone else’s.

I knew that my ‘homepage’ attitude is ‘I am personally offended’ and it is all in the mouth curving downward…

I needed to know that or I’d never become the person I am… I’d always remain that ‘it’s all about me and it should be different’ twirp.
But today I realized that all behavior, all attitudes come from the micro muscle contractions, and a good actor initiates everything from there.
This is, maybe, the reason I can ‘watch’ a movie not seeing it at all. Except for the environment, which I can’t feel, I don’t have to see the actor to feel what his facial muscles tell me he feels.

And this is how I know that American actors don’t know that (except the few good ones), because they don’t play they follow instructions, nobody home.

When I ask students and clients what is their attitude, they don’t go to their faces. They go to their minds, their stomachs, or their chest… but not where it comes from.

Unless you get familiar with the invisible or hard to see, you’ll be always blind and fly blind… and that is dangerous. Deadly.

Start paying attention to your facial muscles.

It is part of self-awareness… or we could say it is 01% of self-awareness.

And whatever you can’t see/feel you can’t manage, you can’t change, you can’t be responsible for.
And because responsibility is your access to power, you can’t experience power… boohoo for you.
This is why I will do two (2) live workshops teaching you to feel your face and your facial muscles… I can’t and won’t attempt to teach you to feel someone else’s, because you can’t… but you can learn to pay attention and evaluate the meaning of that micro expression…

We’ll attempt to identify these attitudes and feelings ON THE FACE.

Personally offended, disappointed, disgusted, distrust, doubt, hesitation, contempt, etc.

These are different than what ‘they’ teach, these are from MY ’emotional/attitude vocabulary’. They are powerful in that when you can identify them, you can own them… you can change them, you can manage them, so you
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Remove just one attitude… and your happiness will grow 60%

The only effective method to make something work is to remove, little by little, all the things that make it not work, or not work as well as it could.

This is true in every area of life.

So what can be removed?

Continue reading Remove just one attitude… and your happiness will grow 60%