It’s Saturday and I cancelled all my engagements so I can have some time to clear my head

And then… this persistent inner weeping came up… again.

I asked Source: do I have a reason to grieve? yes. did I lose something? yes. was it ever mine? no. was it love? yes.

So I have been grieving over the loss of something that was never mine, that I never had… so I could not have lost it… and I am grieving nevertheless.

so I ask Source: is that stupid? yes… was the answer.

But what is really happening? I say: the feelings meditations are doing their work.

I had anger for decades… now I have the grief… and when it’s gone I’ll have maybe sadness… and when that is gone, I’ll be free.
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