Tag Archives: ess

Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…

Everything you ever wanted is available to you, if…

… if you are willing to look and see what is so about you and your life.

The truth. Naked. Ugly. Often shameful.

Here is a correspondence I had with a client today:

She said: “I’m interested in changing my context since it’s part of what keeps me stuck.”

“… answering the questions: what am I doing? Why am I doing it?

Unless you have done the work of identifying what you have been doing, and why you have been doing it, no way you can shift the context. You cannot catch what you can’t see. And you cannot change what you can’t catch.”
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Sometimes you have to trust where you are taken.

I am sitting here at my computer, playing freecell. Somehow I find myself pondering the flowershop scene of the movie… and am taken visually and viscerally to the movie, City Lights with Charlie Chaplin. To the scene where he passes the flower shop where the girl whose eye operation he paid for works.

I saw that movie back in Hungary. I was young. And I didn’t understand the movie.

Today I realized: I didn’t understand the movie because I didn’t understand that the Chaplin character was poor.

I lived in a country, in a household where poor wasn’t a meme. We had what we had. And we were alive.

You could argue that poor isn’t a meme, that it’s a fact, but it isn’t.

You have what you have, and that is not a meme. But what you don’t have is not real, other than in your thoughts, in the memes. Lack is only real in the memes.

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You can’t become extraordinary if you live an ordinary life

I am getting a lot of requests to teach people how to become people who live a life worth living, who excel in all four areas, all four pillars of the good life.

My answer is almost always: Sorry I can’t help you.

But why?

Today I got lucky and got my answer in a pristine form.

My University classmate, Panni called me. We talk once a month. She is, of course an architect: we were classmates in architecture school, a five year study.

And she is a mother and a grandmother.
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How true is your truth? Do your teachers have theory induced blindness… the world is still flat where human behavior is concerned?

This article is about the inner workings of a human… that if you get it wrong, the price you pay for the error is your life.

Is a human like a assembled faucet? When it drips you have to replace the whole thing?

I energize my water in a 5 gallon (20 liter) plastic containers with a spigot.

The spigot is replaceable, but I am not strong enough to unscrew it. I have the replacement spigot… I bought it a year ago, but is still sitting on my kitchen counter. I still need to be mindful that the old spigot, which is just another word for water tap… still drips.
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The field: The invisible distinction that defines your consciousness

We look at life through the space we locate ourselves in.

When you go home for the holidays, you have a space inside which you interact with your mother. You have a space inside which you interact with your father, another space with your siblings.

Some people live their whole life out of one favorite space.

When you know what space you think you are in, and the other person makes no sense, that is because they relate to you inside a different space.

For example, Nancy lives inside Mother-child space. She is either the mother, or she is the child. When she is the child, I am either the mother (she loves that) or Not mother… she hates that. When she is the mother and I refuse to be the child, she throws a tantrum.

This is invisible for her. It’s the water she swims in.

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Becoming like god where you create with your word.

With regards to the title… I am not suggesting that you become like Jesus… but become like the Creator, who supposedly said: there shall be light… or whatever he said… This Creator created with his word. That is the god I mean…

The main difference between a human and a human being, the next level of human evolution, is an inner difference. Not biological, physical, physiological. Instead a difference in what tells the one and the other to do things, what attitude to have, how to do things.

Humans listen to memes, the voices. Voices that are not the human’s friends, voices that have no rhyme and reason, voices that make the human misbehave, and take actions that on the long run make him miserable.

Humans say things, but they don’t stick. They violate their own word, human word is cheap. Why? Because a random voice comes around and overwrite it. That’s why.
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The skill to develop if you want to live a life you love

We live as if things never changed. Even though we hear, read, that the only thing that is constant in life is change.

And yet, our minds, the machine-like part of us that cannot learn, won’t learn, and fancies itself YOU… our minds tell us, moment to moment, that life will remain the way it is in that moment.

Is that crazy or what?

When something bad happens, the reaction is not to the bad thing, but to the idea that the results of the bad thing are life-long.
When something good happens, the reaction is not to the good thing. It is to the idea, to the notion, to the certainty, that the good thing will last a lifetime.
When you are well… you are sure you’ll be always well. When you feel sick, you are sure that unless you fix it, you’ll never feel good again. Gloom and doom, or yippee… all is wonderful. The roller coaster, I call it.

So in light of this behavior of the mind: what is the most important skill?
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Your behavior is always consistent with what you see… All your mistakes come from here…

Your behavior is always consistent with what you see.

And what you see depends 100% of your available capacities.

You don’t even look… because you know what is there… you know there is nothing to see.

The difference between a blind person and you is that the blind person knows she cannot see.

Why can’t you see? For two reasons:
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What is the difference: I get to shovel the 10 inch snow… and I have to shovel show?

In my weekly coaching call with my only business/marketing student last night, I went deep into the causes of why someone with a degree, why someone who is making a living, cannot move further up the life-satisfaction, life effectiveness scale.

I have found two blatant holes in him, that my guess is shared by all of you, or most of you.

1. a total blindness of what gives meaning and therefore the mood for life.
2. a total inability to see what is cause and what is effect.

So how do you fix that? You don’t.

When you find something that isn’t working or isn’t working as well as you’d like it to, your knee jerk reaction is to fix it. Or change it. Or stop doing it.
But unless what you found is seed level, you can work till the cows come home, and you will only produce pretense, but not a change.

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You are in the bull’s ear… You live in the bull’s ear

Parents want to help, but instead they push you deeper into the bull’s ear.

The expression, came from a student’s father, you are in the bull’s ear, is a great distinction. It is not American, and because it is alien sounding, almost nonsensical, it can wake you up.

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