Tag Archives: First Thought

Guidance, oracle… the final interpretation is up to you

It’s Tuesday and Rob Brezsny’s syndicated horoscopes landed in my inbox.

I read mine, and my blood turned cold.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the coming weeks, you might want to read the last few pages of a book before you decide to actually dive in and devour the whole thing. I also suggest you take what I just said as a useful metaphor to apply in other areas. In general, it might be wise to surmise the probable outcomes of games, adventures, and experiments before you get totally involved. Try this fun exercise: Imagine you are a psychic prophet as you evaluate the long-range prospects of any influences that are vying to play a role in your future.
Fear. Fear that I am working on something that is going to turn out not what I want.

Very scary… in spite of the fact that I experiment all the time. That I rarely make a binding commitment to any path until it is already bringing its results.

I don’t set goals… and don’t commit to outcomes.

And yet, the fear was paralyzingly strong…
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My life in Film Noir, Fritz Lang’s M, The Tongue in The Shoes

I had a conversation with Zsuzsa, a friend of mine from architecture school.

I normally hide from her, because she is traditionally very negative. But last instant messaging we had she sounded upbeat, so I thought, I’d give it a try. I know how to break off a conversation when it goes south.

As fate has it, she broke her hand a few months ago, it didn’t heal well, and she has had a lot of pain. Interestingly it has changed her. Permanently or temporarily, I don’t know. My hunch is that it is temporary…

Anyway, I shared with her my experience with the nose bleed. She didn’t quite grasp it at first. She has had nose bleeds but her first thought wasn’t: this is the beginning of the end, so for her the chance of a breakthrough with that would have been small.

On the other hand, given that she is an architect, her right hand is her bread and butter, so creating a new way to look at it was a definite breakthrough for her.

I was mulling over this today as I was washing my hands in the bathroom.

“You need to trust the whisper inside your head that says that what’s happening is a good thing.” I thought, but then I cringed. Some 58 years ago I thought just that and where did it lead me?!

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