Tag Archives: Judgment

When did this begin that today 91% of people are judgmental?

In the land of Israel 2000 years ago only 10% of people were wholly judgmental…

It isn’t the Bible, it is what the church says, right and wrong, is that encourages you to judge.

Judging something or someone wrong causes an immediate reduction of tension.

Tension between high emotion and the resting, neutral emotional state.

It’s the law of thermodynamics (Physics anyone? First law of thermodynamics, also known as the law of conservation of energy, states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed, but it can be changed from one form to another.). Heat moves to cool. A ball that you throw up returns to the surface of the Earth, often through your hands.
If you can’t bear the tension, if you are a pansy, you judge. But either way, the emotion needs to come back to neutral.
There is a species of birds that have to come down, right after birth, from a pinnacle they nest on to a ravine where their food is… sounds weird but that is what the members of this species, arctic barnacle geese have to do to survive. The little chicks, covered with soft feathers, need to fall off the height, hitting every rock… and most of them ends up fine… some die. But the ones that live will live.

Here is the video:

I don’t judge. Instead I opinionate. I assess. They are not the same.

Judging happens in the black and white paradigm.
Opinionating/assessing happens in the extrinsic paradigm where things have more facets that just right and wrong.

Here is a judgment about someone killing another with one hit: ‘that is wrong!’

Here is an opinion about the same thing: ‘huh, that hit was disproportionate to the offense!’ Watch the new facet!

Interestingly, my judging students cannot hear, cannot see the difference. So judging is not only in the speaking, judging is also in the listening. It is the paradigm, not just an isolated action. They hear wrong in everything… and even the details also mean to them wrong, wrong wrong.
The 3 paradigms of value
Because I live in the higher paradigms, extrinsic and intrinsic where you can feel, I HAVE TO FEEL what a human is designed to feel when I look at something violent, or unfair, or nasty, or treasonous happening. And feeling those feelings creates tension… like a ball that is thrown up high in the air.

For a while I hold the tension. But when the tension becomes too strong to contain, I sob. I sob for a few seconds, a few minutes. I feel the pain, I feel the sadness, I feel the grief. And I feel the shame, the regret, the anger… whatever feeling the incident makes me feel.
One of my students doesn’t judge, but has too low TLB… so she chooses to leak, chooses to reduce the tension in other ways, like marijuana.
That tension, by the way, is similar to creative tension. So if you cannot take one, you also cannot take the other.

And if you can’t take the creative tension, you’ll be stuck at the bottom of the totem
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How do you escape the current paradigm of hate?

Paradigms explain why you don’t see, don’t hear what is right in front of you.

Paradigms are, like the ancient Kabbalists presented it, like the Tree Of Life.

From every branch you can look down and see everything… and you can look up and see nothing… or better said: you see yourself reflected.

Werner Erhard used a different geometric model… concentric spheres. Your sphere includes the smaller spheres, seamlessly. The upper border of your sphere seems to be endlessly reflect all the lower paradigms.
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People will always judge you and what you are doing. It’s part of the machine to judge.

People will always judge you and what you are doing. It’s part of their machine.

There is nothing you can do about that. Judging is the only way humans have access to “what’s happening”. It is the right circle (the meaning and story circle)… and it is NEVER empty… You can call it meaning, you can call it story, you can call it judgment, you can call it commentary, you can call it whatever you want to: it never goes away.

Mother Teresa may be right… but doing it anyway, giving your best anyway, may be a really uphill struggle, unless… unless you set the context. She did… masterfully, and she made people “write big numbers” as a result.
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Do You Think You Can Tell WHAT You See?

Most of us are sure we can. We make decisions based on what we see, and our decisions and actions take us to live the life we live.

Most of us live a life of quiet desperation. It was true at the turn of the last century, and it is true now.

There was a discipline and coaching paradigm I studied and used about 9 years ago. It is based on axiology, the Nobel Prize nominated work of Robert Hartman.

Axiology is the study of value or quality. It is the science that deals with what is good and what is not. Beyond and independent of subjective judgment.

The test (Value Profile) we ran in axiology had 4 parameters by which we could map out the potential for success of any individual.

One of them relates to the title. The parameter is called “clarity”.

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I don’t want to be judged! you cry. But YOU judge everything and everyone…


Why would you think that someone will judge you? Simple… you have already judged yourself.

But why would you? Not everyone judge themselves. I, for example, don’t… or not often at all. I often assess myself, my behavior, my looks, my stuff… but assessment does not carry condemnation in it, and it doesn’t carry praise in it either.

What is the difference between judgment and assessment ?

The main difference is fixed mindset.
In judgment, the judging person lives as if there were a fixed good or bad, smart or stupid, right or wrong. And then they act as if they were assigned the job of judging…
So a high fixed mindset plus arrogance, superiority, plus high desire/low ambition numbers.

I have found that people with this combination are unable, unwilling, or resistant to do the work of the Playground.
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Hey, when you are BEING a knucklehead does it mean you ARE a knucklehead?


Hey, when you are BEING a knucklehead… does it mean you ARE a knucklehead?
Or you are just doing the only exercise most people do: jumping into conclusions.

Listen if you can recognize yourself in this story:

A lot of my clients find themselves in a trap…

For example, they make a mistake. They are frustrated. Or they are scared. Or they are angry. Or they are devastated. Even suicidal.
They say to themselves: Here I go again!…
…I am never going to get it right! I am never going to learn this… I better give up while I am ahead! I am stupid! I am a loser! and on and on and on I could go with the examples how people abuse themselves.

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