What is an adult, what is a child… and does your ego-state (Child, Parent, Adult) influence how much money you have, how much love you have, how healthy you are?
One of the distinctions, fields: what field is this interaction which we learned about a year ago, is closely related to Transactional Analysis ego states… very educational…
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I have been toying, playing with the idea of teaching the Effortless Abundance Course…
What has been blocking me is the kinds of people who want it.
You see effortless is a lie… although efforting, per se, is unnecessary.
Efforting is a concept. But doing things, learning things, unlearning things, is sometimes hard work. And for most people, who are attracted to the Effortless Abundance idea, work is a dirty word.
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We all have at least two distinct and recognizable selves that we switch back and forth between.
In this article we’ll look at intelligence, but we could also look at the character, the attitude, the moral fortitude of the selves… but because I look at the world through the frame of smart and stupid, and only secondarily through loyal/disloyal, I’ll write this article on the intelligence level of your two selves.
Now, let me start with a statement: there is nothing wrong with being stupid. As long as you know and embrace that you are stupid.
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Every generation is more entitled than the previous one. Why? Let me explain…
If appreciative is the opposite of entitled… does that mean that all those people who are not appreciative are entitled?
Entitled is a worldview. It is a ground-of-being phenomenon, invisible, like the floor. An unexamined truth. To you. But for the other, it is quite obvious…
So how do you know that you are not appreciative? that you are entitled?
This is how:
Even when you thank someone, they frown…
You may even be diligent in thanking someone, you may even feel a stab of thankfulness, but those thanks are the waves on the waters, not the bottom of the sea… The bottom of your sea is entitlement.
Your core belief is what keeps you sick, fat, miserable, and poor…
…but it is not easy to see your exact belief… A belief is a sentence… words… And without the exact sentence, you can’t release it
I have showed you a way or two to find your false belief in previous posts…
Another great way to suspect that there is a core belief is the following method?
Let’s suppose that you love movies. You watch a movie. You are spellbound. You are somehow kept in awe, but when someone asks what about that movie that does that magical thing to you, you have no answer.
I have a few foreign movies that did that to me (American movies are largely unsuited for this purpose: they treat the viewer as imbecile)
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How do you start revealing the core belief that is the linchpin of your whole belief system about yourself, about the nature of the world, or about other people?
I am going to use my own example, because that I know it intimately… because I am aware of all my thoughts and because I have been consciously looking.
Rule number 1: never believe that you have found THE answer. The answer may be deeper than where you are. Example: I thought that my core belief was that I didn’t have the right to live. It felt dramatic, and I shifted it. I could have gone my merry way, but that would have been a mistake.
Rule number 2: Your core belief is what irks you about other people. What do I mean?
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I got a thank you note today. I get quite a few of those, I must admit.
They are a great way for me to track how the methodologies and principles I use in my teaching work. I mean, how effective I am, how effective the methods are. They track my ability to make a difference in the world. (Someone please remind me to write about how I view my making a difference… OK?)
This note reads
Today was a huge success. I did not even recognize myself. I was attempting to have a conversation with my sister when she became extremely aggressive upon trying to control me and failing. She was in my face yelling and pacing around in circles. I remained calm and did not attempt to defend myself as the lies flew at me. I was able to stick to the subject and not accuse. At this point her husband jumped in and tried to intimidate me, pointing his finger in my face and yelling. They both looked like mad men ganging up on me. I did not raise my voice or get emotional. This is the first time in my life I had no fear in a confrontational situation and it felt GREAT! To be honest I think it frightened my sister & her husband. They did not know what to think of me, I have had many weaknesses in the past but now I am strong.
Success or Failure in life… where do they come from? Do you ever ponder that question? How come some people are successful and others are not, even though seemingly they do the same things?
Consider this: The mind is a pattern creator. It is not interested, fundamentally unconcerned about your thriving or success, it is interested in surviving itself and once survived, staying the same. It creates the beginnings of a pattern every time you survive. And it continues to do so till you die. That’s why behavior scientists say it takes 21 days to change a behavior: a new pattern needs to be created.
Some patterns are deeper than others…
Hey, when you are BEING a knucklehead… does it mean you ARE a knucklehead?
Or you are just doing the only exercise most people do: jumping into conclusions.
Listen if you can recognize yourself in this story:
A lot of my clients find themselves in a trap…
For example, they make a mistake. They are frustrated. Or they are scared. Or they are angry. Or they are devastated. Even suicidal.
They say to themselves: Here I go again!…
…I am never going to get it right! I am never going to learn this… I better give up while I am ahead! I am stupid! I am a loser! and on and on and on I could go with the examples how people abuse themselves.
