You cannot change something if you don’t know what causes it…
Thoreau thought misplaced value was the cause: We feel a void in our lives, and we attempt to fill it with things like money, possessions, and accolades.
I say that the truth is deeper than that.
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It’s Saturday. The only reason I know it is Saturday because tomorrow I’ll have the first session of Version 2 of the muscle testing course.
And I am afraid. Normal. Anything new, anything threatening with unexpected unknowns creates fear. Normal.
So I stayed in semi-sleep mode an hour longer than my normal getup time… Looking.
I looked at all the relevant invisible elements of my life, to see where I can influence this fear… and how. Not that fear is bad… but I prefer life with less fear.
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Both are context words. Neither talks about the stuff that is inside the context… inside the wrapper. The wrapper tells you how to look at the content.
It has nothing to do with the stuff, or the quantity of it. It can be great, it can be plenty… the context, scarcity or abundance will tell you what to feel, what to think, what to do.
Why? Because context is decisive.
You can have plenty inside the context of scarcity, and feel that you don’t have enough. Enough time, enough stuff, enough happiness, enough whatever…
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We live as if things never changed. Even though we hear, read, that the only thing that is constant in life is change.
And yet, our minds, the machine-like part of us that cannot learn, won’t learn, and fancies itself YOU… our minds tell us, moment to moment, that life will remain the way it is in that moment.
Is that crazy or what?
When something bad happens, the reaction is not to the bad thing, but to the idea that the results of the bad thing are life-long.
When something good happens, the reaction is not to the good thing. It is to the idea, to the notion, to the certainty, that the good thing will last a lifetime.
When you are well… you are sure you’ll be always well. When you feel sick, you are sure that unless you fix it, you’ll never feel good again. Gloom and doom, or yippee… all is wonderful. The roller coaster, I call it.
So in light of this behavior of the mind: what is the most important skill?
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Before i say anything else, all the illustrations about negative energy, negativity I use in this post are b.s. and harmful… The Hungarian Christmas pictures… I remember being a child…
Yesterday I was on a group coaching call where a so-called energy practitioner…
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The second part of the title, “except that not always” is doesn’t apply for at least 10% of you: you won’t even see the difference when I point it out.
The most frustrating thing is, that you are sure you are saying or understanding the right words… but you don’t. And you blame it on the speaker saying that what they said doesn’t work.
How do I know?
For most people, who become a student in my programs, this is the first hurdle to pass.
You come into my program with a 300 accurate vocabulary, and you only hear the words you think you know what they mean, but that is not what I said.
I only find out what you heard when you tell me my words back to me… wrong. inaccurate. different words. Different meaning. Or Tai’s words, if you are in the 67 steps coaching…
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What is negativity?
Most of us seem to know what it is, we feel it, some in their guts, some in their heart, but feel it, especially when other people are negative. When it’s within us, we feel despair, anxiety, worry, we have a sense of dread, or we are sad, nervous, stressed, hyper, manic, depressed, or just listless. We get sick from it.
We do not recognize it as negativity on ourselves and that allows it to go rampant, unmanaged, something that happens to us and all we can do about it is complain, bear it, or take some pills.
In the normal course of events we don’t notice anything special tied to what we think or say, because we are so mired in negativity, it’s normal. Our life is lived in quiet (or not so quiet) desperation, and that’s that.
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I have been observing myself as a spiritual practice. Trying to “remember myself” as Gurjieff would say it, call upon the “witness” or “observer”. Be awake. Either way, I have noticed something remarkable about myself: see if you can relate.
When I am in front of my computer* (where I spend most of my day) and I encounter something that requires the slightest push on my end, I see myself automatically going to the computer game of my choice, freecell.
I began observing this phenomenon about 6 months ago (it was there, unobserved, for many years). But 4 days ago I decided to employ “restriction,” which is one of Kabbalah’s main tenets, and see what will happen.
For about 36 hours I closed the freecell program as soon as I opened it. Then every time I was “awake” which means I was by myself and I was still observing myself. On the other hand, every time I was on the phone, or watching a video on my computer, or listening to an audio file, my attention wasn’t on myself, and I played… until I “woke up.”
Still curious, more interested in the experiment than conquering the force that moves my hand, I saw something today that is worth sharing.
Since I have started this blog, I have been watching how I somehow leak the energy that is necessary for creative thinking and expression… by talking on the phone, by playing freecell.
Every occasion when I need the little push and I opt to play instead, two things happen: 1. I have diminished the internal discomfort 2. I have successfully diverted my attention from what is important to me.
The first one is good, right? Who would want to be uncomfortable, after all.
Most of us are sure we can. We make decisions based on what we see, and our decisions and actions take us to live the life we live.
Most of us live a life of quiet desperation. It was true at the turn of the last century, and it is true now.
There was a discipline and coaching paradigm I studied and used about 9 years ago. It is based on axiology, the Nobel Prize nominated work of Robert Hartman.
Axiology is the study of value or quality. It is the science that deals with what is good and what is not. Beyond and independent of subjective judgment.
The test (Value Profile) we ran in axiology had 4 parameters by which we could map out the potential for success of any individual.
One of them relates to the title. The parameter is called “clarity”.
You cannot help/change something that you don’t know what causes it…
Thoreau thinks misplaced value is the cause: We feel a void in our lives, and we attempt to fill it with things like money, possessions, and accolades.
I think that the truth is deeper than that.
“The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so
the necessary may speak.” – Hans Hoffman
Things are never how the mass of men want them to be. Not the way they want to feel, not what they want to do and not what they want to have.
Money is never enough. Or time… Or fun is never fun enough. Not enough love. Not enough respect. Not enough of anything.
On yesterday’s grocery shopping trip (I don’t have a car. So I go shopping with the community center’s van for old people.) I watched the other people… two days before the next “pay” comes in, they barely had enough money to buy an item or two. One spent those few bucks on wine… One couldn’t even come to shop… not until he gets his check.
I talked to an 80 year old and a 95 year old woman. By that age, it seems, you appreciate if you are feeling halfway decent. I am only 71… I’ll be next Tuesday… if you want to wish me happy birthday.
But most people aren’t that old, and they, you, are dissatisfied.
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