Summary: Lifesaving method of taking back your power from anything or anyone, including yourself. It removes judgment, it removes blame, and returns you to living powerfully
I don’t have a lot of opportunities to practice this, but it is clearly needed. When I teach responsibility from the height of “I have this handled” no one seems to be getting it.
So here is my opportunity to teach it from the trenches, as I am going through the struggle myself.
Here is what happened:
Contrary to what my headline might suggest, this is actually an upbeat message.
Guilt is about what you have done. You did something you feel you should not have done, but you did it anyway. Out of spite, out of impulsivity, out of ignorance. Now you are suffering. You feel bad about it.
Shame is about who you are. You are, in your world, less than you should be. That should may come from religion, comparison with others, comparison with the potential you once were…. Either way, you disappointed yourself, and now you are suffering.
Failure in business/life has no connection to either of these.
Failures, in business/life, are those little solar lights stuck in the ground, on the way to success.
Most people feel stuck. It doesn’t feel good. And they want to be unstuck… but they don’t know how.
Three questions can take you from where you are at now to movement… onto the path to wherever you would like to be.
I have lead a workshop about a hundred times that asked slightly different questions, and it strikes me funny now, that maybe I have been asking the questions that are ‘fixing’ based… not what I wanted.
The old workshop asked:
what’s working
what’s not working?
What are you doing in that area? Who are you being? (attitude) What are you having? (results)
Who would you need to be so what isn’t working can start working, maybe even brilliantly?
I’ve lead that workshop over and over again, and it was always a disappointment for me: people, on the evolutionary level where humanity is having no or too few spiritual capacities working haven’t been really able to benefit from the workshops.
And even when we managed to see a new way of being that would make life work brilliantly, they could not make it work… As soon as they returned to their life away from me and my way of looking at life and themselves, the old patterns of looking a being re-asserted themselves… and that was that. No results.
I have been learning new questions to ask… and some people have been able to use the new questions to get unstuck and start moving.
A new set of questions is the quiver of clarity questions from Tom Beal:
where are you at now?
where would you like to be?
what is one thing that if you did it regularly, it would 10x your life or this area of life (new)
what should you stop doing?
what should you do more of?
what should you do less of?
Or the same questions from my workshop asked differently:
1. What is working?
2. What is missing?
3. What is next?
Questions make you look at your life, and even life differently, revealing the hidden patterns that without the questions they are almost invisible.
The questions can make you optimistic, hopeful, maybe even confident that you can move… or put you in despair.
I personally prefer the jetfuel method of motive power, but today’s humanity is mostly snowflakes (70% of humanity) and want to remain positive…
And although I don’t have much to offer to the snowflake type of person, and and 92% of my subscribers are snowflakes… I want them to at least experience what is possible when you don’t just hope and wish and hold your hand out to the ‘Universe’ to fill your wishes.
I have been looking for a new way to turn people around and found these three questions that, hopefully, put people into a gratitude mode instead of a fixing mode… and with that they will be able to see something they can actually DO… nouvelle idea, isn’t it?
Most people take things working for granted. The things that actually work they consider normal so they never look and ask: what am I doing here, who am I being here, that this works? Instead they
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Summary: This is a complement piece to the previous article about letting go.
This article goes more below the surface, more below the obvious… so you cannot keep it on the level of the society approved level of inane…
Is the quote in the title a true guidance statement, or is it one of those “sounds good” mind-numbing nothings perfectly suitable for the Facebook pretentious crowd?
When you get angry at someone who you used to like or even love, suspect that you have an integrity issue…
It seems, to you, that they did something wrong… took advantage of you, mistreated you, but the truth underneath it, more often than not, is that you did something to them…
It is often hard to find the thing you did, especially if you are an unconscious person… or if you are still more interested in justifying your anger than being happy, and loving. Especially because most of the things that you do live in thoughts or words… that change your attitude… and you never think of your words… as something you could be responsible for…
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Unexpected side effects to Effortless Abundance Activator
I didn’t expect results and changes the way they happened. I thought they would be gentle, gradual. It didn’t happen that way for me. It was more like I wanted want more light, and I meant another light bulb, well within my comfort zone, but what I got is the whole cloudless sky. Overwhelming.
What’s the difference between psychotherapy and coaching?
I have a client who is in the middle of his divorce. He lives two states away from me, and he is a client for hands-on massage, so he only rarely sees me.
We had a conversation today. He feels somewhat happier than he felt the last time. He’s been seeing a psychotherapist. When I asked him how his divorce was going, he said that it was tough because she was getting nasty.
Hope is eternal, and so is stupidity.
Hope means: I don’t want the truth. Hope means: I prefer to dream. Hope means: It will be given to me. Hope means: If it is to be it must come from some place other than here, because I sure won’t move a finger to make it happen.
Do I sound angry? Bitter? Yeah… I am having a bout of bitterness here… lol. It comes, predictably, every 2-3 weeks, I know some sense into myself, and then I am good for 2-3 weeks.
I am talking about having your well-being, your happiness, your peace of mind depend on other people’s behavior.
The holidays quickly approaching, this is a very timely topic to deal with: the sarcasm, or sarcastic remarks of the people you meet: instead of holiday cheer, love etc. you need to deal with poison coming through sarcasm. How do you do it? This article will help to look at it differently and save yourself from grief.
Hey Sophie,
I hope you are well.
I’m wondering if you could help me to clarify something?
I’m trying to understand sarcasm.
The Irish people are generally quite sarcastic, it’s called ‘slagging’ here. I think, in general, one is supposed to be able to laugh at himself or answer back in similar manner.
But most of times I don’t really know how to react to it, it’s hurtful sometimes.. and I guess I don’t really know if I’m overreacting? Should I just observe the origin of MY hurt or try to see why perhaps the other person is veiling mockery, i.e. observe THEIR hurt?
You find yourself not sleeping well, eating the wrong thing, not taking care of yourself… Maybe you are getting signs of depression… Maybe you are procrastinating…
How can you restore yourself to wellness? You don’t even know why you are not able to take care of yourself…
Your integrity is out… your sensitive conscience will not let you be well until you set things right.
We do things, little or big, that hurt others, hurt us. And then we expect to have a great life. Not possible.
But certain symptoms start happening. You can’t concentrate, or you can’t sleep well, peacefully. Or you don’t do what you know you must, you procrastinate.
To get out of the deep hole you inequities put you, you need to start taking small steps to restore your integrity, to restore your wholeness.
You can’t love yourself, when your integrity is out, and you can’t love your life when you don’t love yourself.
It is a downward spiral like the tread of the screw, every turn of the screw takes you deeper and deeper into the mire.
