Avoidance of success… but it is more natural than you think.
It sounds nonsensical that you would fear success, but most likely you do.
That fear comes from unclarity.
Success feels daunting, it feels like a big freakin’ should.
It has happened to my clients. Someone was doing quite well. became the top of the class, and bam, dropped it all, and dropped below the level they were at when they started.
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In fact, it is not just success, but any supposedly positive outcome as the focus, as the destination will cause a failed life. As certainly as that the sun will come up in the morning.
I have a student who wants to be worthy.
The question to ask: why? Why would you want to be worthy?
All your wants are fueled by a desire to fix.
It is human nature, it is not personal. What is personal is what you want to fix… not the desire to fix. The desire to fix is universal.
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I have an older blog that is attacked by hackers every week. They install malware… so I don’t want you to go there…
It’s an old website, more than 10 years ago it was my main blog. Most of it is still useful.
I have started to move the old blog posts, one by one, to my yourvibration.com site.
One of those posts reminded me, that until you get what I am writing in it, your future will be much like your past.
While I was researching for pictures, I found that what I am teaching is against the mainstream ineffective, all in the visible… the mind is powerful type of teaching.
Reality, if you watch a person, reality doesn’t work the way THOSE people, those memes, those motivational speakers tell you it works. The nature of reality is that 90% of what moves anything or anyone, the CAUSE, is in the invisible/unconscious domain of life.
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Most “do-it-for-you” programs don’t work. Why? Are they bad? Are they fakes, thieves, or is there something in our design as human beings that prevents us from taking advantage of these opportunities. This is what this article is about. Surprising. Documented. True.
Note from a decade later: Imagine waking up one morning with the physique of a body builder. A copy of Arnold Schwarzenegger in his prime. Or a female equivalent of Arnold…
Do you think it would benefit you? For longer than a minute?
Everything that you did not earn will atrophy. I have learned this the hard way. I started to turn on DNA capacities for people… and look with horror, as one after the other they turned off.
The recipient didn’t earn it, so they can’t keep it.
It’s the same with lottery winners… You have to earn what you want… And that is the principle of this article.
No One CAN Do Anything FOR You… And Even if They Could…
Surprising title, isn’t it? Especially from an Internet Marketer and Coach. After all, the best product to sell is something that you do for them, right?
Yes and no.
Everyone hopes that what they need can and will be done for them. So, as an Internet Marketer I can make a boatload of cash by promising that.
But here is the kicker: No one really appreciates what they get ready. Why? Are they unappreciative? Do they lack the genes for appreciation? Do they have the habit of it?
No.
If we take what Kabbalah* says about how it all works, especially what is the inner motivator of every human being: to develop one’s Self to the fullest in a lifetime by correcting the areas where they fall short from fully being their divine (giving) nature… every time someone does something FOR you, they rob you of the opportunity to do it for your Self… because the thing looks done.
American citizens, eligible to vote, are divided.
But whether you will vote to Obama, McCain, or you stay at home and let others decide, one thing is certain, no one is looking at the real issue:
The skill it takes to win the votes of the majority, i.e. win an election is a very different skill from the skill of running a country. Unless running it to the ground qualifies as running it…. ;-)Â as we have experienced, time and time again.
Just like in politics, the same is true for teaching anything, including internet marketing. The skill it takes to be a successful internet marketer is a vastly different skill from the skill of causing another person’s success.
We all look to our guru to teach us what to do and how to do it, so that we can be successful like them, and we all get very frustrated and very weary, because what they say and what they do are often different, and even if and when we did exactly what they said to do, we meet with meager success.
How come? We seem all very surprised.
Well, let me ask you this: have you ever heard of a successful football or basketball coach that played real well?
Or the reverse: have you ever heard of a successful player that was also a great coach?
Most successful players play from their “other than conscious mind.”
Most of us are sure we can. We make decisions based on what we see, and our decisions and actions take us to live the life we live.
Most of us live a life of quiet desperation. It was true at the turn of the last century, and it is true now.
There was a discipline and coaching paradigm I studied and used about 9 years ago. It is based on axiology, the Nobel Prize nominated work of Robert Hartman.
Axiology is the study of value or quality. It is the science that deals with what is good and what is not. Beyond and independent of subjective judgment.
The test (Value Profile) we ran in axiology had 4 parameters by which we could map out the potential for success of any individual.
One of them relates to the title. The parameter is called “clarity”.
I got a thank you note today. I get quite a few of those, I must admit.
They are a great way for me to track how the methodologies and principles I use in my teaching work. I mean, how effective I am, how effective the methods are. They track my ability to make a difference in the world. (Someone please remind me to write about how I view my making a difference… OK?)
This note reads
Today was a huge success. I did not even recognize myself. I was attempting to have a conversation with my sister when she became extremely aggressive upon trying to control me and failing. She was in my face yelling and pacing around in circles. I remained calm and did not attempt to defend myself as the lies flew at me. I was able to stick to the subject and not accuse. At this point her husband jumped in and tried to intimidate me, pointing his finger in my face and yelling. They both looked like mad men ganging up on me. I did not raise my voice or get emotional. This is the first time in my life I had no fear in a confrontational situation and it felt GREAT! To be honest I think it frightened my sister & her husband. They did not know what to think of me, I have had many weaknesses in the past but now I am strong.
Hey, when you are BEING a knucklehead… does it mean you ARE a knucklehead?
Or you are just doing the only exercise most people do: jumping into conclusions.
Listen if you can recognize yourself in this story:
A lot of my clients find themselves in a trap…
For example, they make a mistake. They are frustrated. Or they are scared. Or they are angry. Or they are devastated. Even suicidal.
They say to themselves: Here I go again!…
…I am never going to get it right! I am never going to learn this… I better give up while I am ahead! I am stupid! I am a loser! and on and on and on I could go with the examples how people abuse themselves.
