Tag Archives: your case

Who are you that you are? What is the bottom line about you?

You have a deep seated judgment about yourself. And that is the pivoting point, the linchpin that your life is growing out of.

In 1987, in a Landmark Forum, there was an exercise to drive this deep seated judgment about yourself to the surface. To make the invisible visible.

The question was: Who are you that you are?

I raised my hand and I was called on. I started to ramble about fear of commitment, wanting to remain a student all my life…

The Forum Leader said: Oh, you are a failure!

I set down and didn’t hear another word for the rest of the session.
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How to get reasonably clear of your past?


This morning, while I was measuring someone’s starting point measurements, I wondered if there was another word for the desire measure. And it is… drumroll: entitlement. The person feels entitled to get from nature, from the universe, from the world those things that are desired without having to earn it, work for it, barter for it, compete for it… just because they are themselves. Knowledge, love, respect, compliments, stuff, money… It is almost always the same number as the lack of humility number, how much you think of yourself as the center of the universe, as it’s about you, take things personally.

The higher those two numbers are the less satisfying life becomes, because you always feel cheated.

Every young child thinks that the world, other people, their emotional state and response is centered around them.

So when something happens, and something always happens! they are sure it has something to do with them, that somehow they caused it.
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There is no suffering, there is never anything wrong in reality. All suffering, all wrong is brought on by words…


We live in an imaginary reality… with literally no capacity, no ability to tell fact from fiction.
For the purposes of this conversation we’ll define reality as something even a just landed Martian can see, a Martian who isn’t complicit in the fiction we have been honoring as reality.

A Martian can see what is actually happening, but cannot see anything that is a cultural modification of the happening, or what happens inside your head.

So, for example, a Martian can see your mother talking, can hear voice coming out of your mother’s mouth. But he won’t see yelling, because yelling is a cultural, very emotional modification of speaking, even of speaking loudly. And a newly minted visitor on Earth, a Martian will not consider the meaning of the words, because the meaning isn’t happening…
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