My first experience with anything working, anything successfully modifying my world was around 1977. I was 30 years old. I worked in a huge factory that manufactured steel products for construction.
I was an architect, but made a mistake, an error in judgment, and fell to the bottom of the professional pile, got terribly depressed, and had to start all over again.
The professional office occupied the whole sixth floor, no partitions, just a sea of drafting boards with lots and lots of drawings on them.
For an empath there is no worse environment. You lose touch with who you are, what you feel, and drawn in a sea of other people’s feelings, other people’s identities. I felt a descent to madness.
My “desk” was at the furthest corner of the big room, and I had to navigate my way passing twenty-thirty drafting boards to get to the door to go to the bathroom, to a meeting, to lunch. I started seeing things, doors to open, threatening shadows, it was hell.
One afternoon I decided to get help.
A big factory like this had a medical office, so I went down there, no appointment: emergency.
The doctor, an older rugged individual, took me to an empty examination room, told me to take the couch till he would come back.
I was sobbing uncontrollably. When he came back he prescribed something for me, shots, and told me to come back every day at 10.
I bought the shots, and did as he said.
The second morning I noticed that my insides were starting to perk up at 9:30.A few minutes before 10 I was in the parking lot to go over to the medical building. It was a sunny morning. What’s in this shot that makes my body perk up like that? I wondered, and stopped to read the tiny tiny print on the box. blah blah blah codeine… Whatever codeine is, I don’t want it! I said. Gently placed the box on the pavement, and jumped on it with both feet, crushing the small ampoules in it.