Radical Honesty: the truth about you if you are human and breathe: you are a liar.
Did you notice that in American spoken English, people don’t lie down, they lay down; things are not underlying, they are underlaying. The culture of withhold, the culture of hidden lies is so strong: it is changing the language.
You can call a person an s.o.b., but don’t call him on a lie: he will kill you, or at least sue you. Lol.
Someone recommended that book, the Radical Honesty, to me. I had to put it down after about 30 pages: I could not stand the amateurish writing style, the long convoluted sentences, the self-promotion angle of it.
But…
I just hung up with a friend. He started, with my help, a business that so far built him a mailing list of about 700 people: not a bad start. He also got three consulting gigs out of it, that isn’t bad either.
I am managing his mailing list for him, and I feel that his people need to get an email today, or they will not remember why this guy is writing to them.
Normally this guy calls me every day, but I haven’t heard from him for more than two weeks.
So I called him. “What’s up? Your people need to get an email… what do you want to tell them?”
From the other end of the line this sheepish voice came, shame mostly. “I don’t know why I can’t do it. I have so many ideas and then I just don’t want to do it…” he was squirming.
This has been his attitude with any growth opportunity he had in the past 12 years: that is how long I’ve known him.
So, what’s up with that, WTF, right?
He is a Landmark graduate, he did Dianetics, he worked with Tony Robbins, he went to India a dozen times, how come he can’t control himself when it comes to success?
He is impeded… he is using most of his energies to hide stuff… that if he goes to uncharted territory, where all the moves are unusual, he may slip and let up and some of that ugliness spills out.
How do I know it? because that is how humans are… use most of their brain power, and 99% of their will to stuff what they NEED TO STUFF, to maintain the status quo… and interestingly, there is nothing nice or lovely about the status quo: most of the people I know are dissatisfied, bored, lost, hoping, trying, but none of them are living, passionately, nothing held back, full out, like they could.
Is it courage that’s missing? Yes. But not the courage to go for it, the courage to tell the truth about the lies, the pretenses, the disloyalty, the gossip ping, the ugliness.