Category Archives: Reclaim Your Power

If the twist aka dominant belief removal doesn’t seem to make any difference

How you do anything is how you do everything!
A client writes:
Do you check to see if the attachment came back or is this something I have to ask to be done.

My answer: I will check everyone

Unless I didn’t remove an attachment properly (rare) it won’t come back.

yours didn’t come back.

He: Would the activators assist in taking action after you pull the dominant belief pattern if they would you could help match an activator to whatever you pulled from each person.

My answer: The activators could only assist in taking action after I pull the dominant belief pattern but wouldn’t do it for you… i.e. you have to wipe your own arse… the activators only make it easier.

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It’s not a rule of nature. It is YOUR rule. You made it up

You’ve heard it said that, ‘Every person is entitled to their own opinion, but not to their own facts.’ Yet we routinely craft our own facts from the fabric of personal experiences, preferences and prejudices.
A stereotype is nothing more than a pattern we’ve observed.
This pattern isn’t always predictive, but it is a pattern nonetheless and we trust it. We do this in the misbegotten belief that we have correctly interpreted our past experiences and that our preferences and prejudices are, in fact, correct and reliable interpretations of objective reality. We’re a funny, funny species, aren’t we? (~Roy Williams)
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Never really say no?

Saying no feels rude. Any type of no. Setting your boundaries, hanging up the phone, saying you are busy…

Even when no one knows you have a hard time saying no.

How do I know? I just observed myself.
The price of being polite, agreeable, and accommodating
I was on a webinar where they showed how to use a graphics software and it was really good and really enjoyable. Then they started to pitch a bonus… I wasn’t interested in the offer.

Yet, I caught myself staying on the call… and instead of just disconnecting, I tried to multitask: saying yes and no at the same time. I felt my shoulders tighten, and my stomach hurt.

Oh, I want to say no, and I am not saying it, instead I am acting it out… I thought, and then, finally, I hung up.

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The fallacy of ‘the answer’, the fallacy of ‘the truth’

When you come from a fixed place, a fixed worldview, a fixed ‘IS’ then of course you are going to look for the answer… a fixed thing… that will match what your worldview is, completely.

But unfortunately to you there is no ‘the right answer’, the perfect match… because everything in reality depends on everything else.

It is a lot like a jigsaw puzzle where each puzzle piece is a jigsaw puzzle itself.

So it is no wonder that most people never amount to much if anything, if their thinking is that there is a silver bullet, and answer, that solves everything.

There isn’t.

But when I work with people, when I look at their numbers, their numbers show an eerie consistency with their thinking.

The more they are willing to engage with a world that is infinitely complex and yet it has a deep simplicity, the higher their numbers and the more effective they are in managing their lives.
This puzzle is infinitely complex and yet simple
Raising your numbers, raising your consciousness, raising your integrity, inventing yourself anew are all part of this infinitely complex and yet simple puzzle.

It is impossible to get traction if you can’t handle the complexity, AND if you can’t see the simplicity, if you cannot connect the dots.

I have been working on this issue for about ten years. I see both dimensions more fully, both the complexity and the simplicity.

In today’s article I’ll speak to both… in a bits and pieces type of article… I hope you’ll enjoy it no matter where you are on the evolutionary scale.
OK. Puzzle piece 1: Responsibility. Taking, declaring ownership over what you say, what you do, and your relationship to it.
Obviously a lot to look at, both in the present and in the past. What owns what you say, what you do, and your relationship to it… now. Where did it come from. What decisions you made about the world, yourself, life… and what did you say: ‘therefore the way to win in life is…’

It is one thing to see that you decided how the world is… and quite another to see that it was your ‘the answer’ of the simpleminded… ‘the truth’ of the simpleton.

And you may even see that for the three year old child that was totally normal, and fit well with their undeveloped brain… but to bring it to 30-40-50-60 year old you is quite another thing.
Not normal, even if 99.99% of all humans did that.
Not long ago I was teaching some questions that can trigger responsibility, ownership… It fizzled out. People took it as ‘the answer’ and it was not as satisfying as they expected ‘the answer’ to be: it didn’t solve any problems.

They could not see that nothing solves your problems: you do. Not something. What you see, what you say, what you do as a result of seeing it.

No one, not even one of my students considers themselves as cause, even after I turn their ‘responsibility gene’ on, and keep it on, by turning it on and turning it on.

It seems that responsibility needs a willingness to cause…
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The size of your life is an indicator of the size of your possible happiness. What is the size of your life?

The size of your life is an indicator of the size of your possible happiness. What is the size of your life?
In the Playground, people do the work in pairs… we call these Partner Calls.

A partner call needs to be about a problem that came up in an incident. It is less talking than looking.

The person who talks, while the other listens, looks at the incident and attempts to take it through a set of looking points… we call that a script.

The looking points are filters through which the incident suddenly looks different… Richer, more detailed, looked through different vantage points.

The goal is to disappear the problem. A problem says that there is something wrong in the incident. Which indicates that the person’s perception is not of reality but of meaning, interpretation, or rules.

The goal is to get to reality. In reality there is nothing wrong. All wrongs are added by the observer, they are not part of reality. Reality is the way it is… and all the wrongs take your power away to live life, to be intelligent, to solve real tasks, to be with people the way they are, to learn, to be productive, to feel good about yourself.

Ultimately the wrongs take your power away to live a live worth living.

The issues people deal with in the incidents are puny. All of them come from some perceived wrong in childhood, injustice, mistreatment, misjudging, etc.

With adult help, me, people can reframe the incidents in their lives, and the wrongs become less frequent, so they, the participants, can become available to solve REAL problems, if they are interested.

Suffering from those puny problems renders a person not available for life, for a life that is satisfying and makes a difference.
And because people cannot be happy unless they feel that they matter, that they make a difference, people are not happy.
The Playground is taking people, taking participants to the gate where happiness can become attainable. Where they can begin to be interested and available to solve bigger problems, worth solving.
Solve big problems, and your experience of life will be fulfilling.
The bigger problems you solve the more money you’ll make and the more fulfillment you’ll experience in life.

Obviously what you call a problem depends on your view of life.

And how you solve a problem depends on you too…

And thus YOU create your level of happiness… your life’s experience.
You live in a world of your own design. And you live a life of your own design… Mostly unconscious…
I know you would not design a life that feels as bad as the life you are living, but in an unconscious way you have designed it…

This article is about how to design a life that you can enjoy. Your unconscious design has been given you the life you don’t love… Your conscious design will give you the life you’ll live…
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Mindfulness? No. Meditation? No. Meditative living? Yes

It was my shopping day yesterday…

Through bad design, I have my webinars on the same day as my shopping day.

And yesterday I felt creamed by the experience.

I dragged myself through, slept like a baby, but I am still exhausted today.

The difference for me between tired and exhausted, is my breathing. If my chest is not willing to expand, I call that exhaustion…

Anyway, I went to lie down about an hour ago, and opened a new book, 10-minute mindfulness, or something like that… on my kindle.

Five minutes into it I suddenly I realized what happened, what I didn’t do…

OK, first I am going to tell you what others teach you to do to be more present in life and less swept up in the drama of the day.

Then I will tell you what works… what I normally do, and what I didn’t do yesterday. OK?
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Ambition versus Desire… Why ambition has become a dirty word, and who does it serve?

I spent yesterday reading the novel the 1997 Dutch film (Character) was based upon. Of course they changed a few things, and the film left me in deep quandary. The title didn’t make sense. The whole dynamic didn’t make sense. So I read the book.

Most movies’ ending is clear… this is probably only the second movie that left me with questions: WTF just happened? The other movie is the 2002 Chinese movie “Together”.

Anyway, I read the Character book. It was written in 1938.

I did learn what the title was about. And I learned a lot more.

This article is not about the movie, this article is about what makes a man a Man.
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Already too busy? Stressed? Always busy? Always in a hurry? Trying to start a new project?

Stressed? Always busy? Always in a hurry?

These are all signs of you living on the competitive plane, the horizontal, the Valley of the Shadow of Death.

I have a book that I can see from my bed. It is called “The Life You Were Born To Live”

The title immediately creates desire and hurry

But the “You Were Born To Live” creates calmness and a quiet awareness. No hurry. No place to go. Just live.

Two words changed.
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The Matrix… one method of the Matrix is confusion…

Just for clarification: the Matrix is the same as the Chicken Coop in the novel, White Tiger…

As a mad scientist, my job is to distinguish the “things” that are in your way of direction, in your way of clarity, and to devise ways for you to go around them or through them.

One tool that has proven invaluable is isolation. Isolating what you want to see. Seeing it by itself. So you can see it for what it is, in all its glory…

In nature, to our eyes, things are grouped, things are undifferentiated and solid.

Your language supports that too… everything is the same as everything else, except not always. That is how we see. We don’t see boundaries, we don’t separate out what we want to see, we always see things together. We say: it IS… but there is no “it” and therefore there is no “is”. If we said: It seems that … then we would be closer to reality… but we don’t say that. That would require humility.

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Principle: Make your plane land on the landing strip

I have been ‘harping’ on this principle with my students: hear the principle first, and then hear the rest…

Imagine that you are Cinderella… on the night of the big ball.

If I asked you (Cinderella) to separate the wheat from the chaff… what would you do first? If you are like me, you first find out what is the difference… in looks, in weight, and then start separating them accordingly.

I even used to use this capacity (oops, forgot to say, it’s a capacity!) to hire or not hire someone to work with me. I would ask someone to separate a pile of things by their category…
For you Everything is the same as everything else … except not always
Universally missing capacity… I found out.  The underlying capacity can be said with these words: be able to tell the forest for the trees.
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