Alienation… not feeling yourself… rigidity
One of my students sent me her collage.
A collage is an artwork where the hidden surfaces. We think one things but what is the truth, what is underneath it come out in a well-done collage.
We all feel disconnected, isolated, not quite belonging, lacking intimacy, and we think that it is from circumstances, like COVID or the other person, or maybe even you.
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You are always, every moment, are on the verge of limbo or in limbo… so learning how to reinvent yourself to move out of limbo is a good skill to learn
But change, I teach, is not good. It is mostly fixing, and every change carries in itself the seed level of what you didn’t want, what you wanted to change.
So now what? Another way to have something more, better, or different is through reinventing yourself, reinventing your business, your job, your life… But can you do it? How do you do it?
On a ‘What’s the truth about you’ workshop, a participant introduced to me an expression that you’ll find very expressive: stuck in limbo. Limbo, from the dictionary, means: a region of the afterlife on the border of hell, neglect, oblivion, on hold… The waiting state most people are in… they are waiting for something better. Or sometimes waiting for the other shoe to drop. Either way you look at it: limbo is not a good place.
Most everyone is familiar with the feeling. You have yourself… set. You have your business… set. Your job… your life… all set, and all limited in one way or another.
So what is the limiting factor? Economy? Your education? Your skill level?
The only thing that is in common in all four, the common denominator is YOU. Who you are, your attitude…
Your attitude to yourself, to your life, to your job, to your business.
When I ask you who you are, what you’ll say will not be accurate, or will not be complete.
Are you lying? Maybe… But more likely you don’t know.
The reason they have tests to categorize you, or measure certain aspects of you, because, for the most part, you have no idea who you are, what you will do, what you are capable of.
If you ask a person how smart they think they are, research finds that the higher the overall intelligence of the person, the dumber they feel.
And the dumber they are… you can guess the rest of the sentence.
Everyone is stuck in some limbo, and they cannot see their way out.
Limbo is a certain level of achievement, a certain level of relating, a certain circle of opportunity.
And looking at it, from the outside, without knowing what is on the inside, is dumbfounding.
You expect smart people to experience less limitations, less barriers, less limbo… but they don’t. So what is going on?
Why do people have no confidence outside of the area where they have already established? Beyond doing the things they have already proven that they can do?
Can they see that they can do more stuff?
No… they can’t. They can paint a picture of themselves having, enjoying the benefits of the new doing, but the doingness part, doing what it takes: they have an issue imagining.
There is an invisible barrier, but it is as good as solid brick…
And that barrier sometimes stays solid, even after a person gets new skills, gets new capacities…
I remember an instance that stands out in my history.
It happened 40 years ago. I worked as a structural
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Integrity: The Key To A Life That Works. Key to Peace Of Mind, Accomplishment, Satisfaction, And Happiness
When I measure your integrity, it is low. The average integrity of people on this planet is 1%…
Integrity is the relationship between your word and your actions, your word and your beingness, your word and your attitude…
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If the who doesn’t change, nothing can change
This morning I opened an email from a dude who reads my emails, reads my articles, and says he resonates with what I say.
In his latest email he said that we should talk. That we are the world’s two smartest people… so we should talk.
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The best symbol of restriction is the chimney. And Forrest Gump
They are, I say, the symbol for growth… Only one way… up.
There are nations like a lake, a stream, a river, a puddle, and nations like a chimney. Most nations devolve into a puddle-like environment for the individual. No growth inspired, no growth encouraged, no growth praised.
So if life, what is ‘normal’, the expectations don’t restrict your activities, behaviors, then how can you reach excellence?
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Self-actualization is the process of becoming all you can become.
Who is to argue that ultimately that is what we all need. Innately!
There are two non-physical needs, according to Margoczi in the Feelings book.
The need to fulfill others’ expectations of us, and
the need to fulfill our own expectations of ourselves. Ultimately, optimally, what we can do… the realistic expectations.
I had a conversation the other day with my core group. They felt to me rudderless, directionless, low on energy… like a floater.
What’s a floater, you ask? A floater is like stork sh!t… floats in the air and occasionally drops on the ground. Storks are known to poop while in the air… their poop dries out and starts its own rise and fall journey with the air stream… no innate motive power. A floater is like that.
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You hate your job? It is boring? It doesn’t make a difference? You are not good at it? It just pays the bills but no fulfillment?
George Bernard Shaw wrote more than a hundred years ago:
“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”
And what he wrote about you, being a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances… is more true today than it was in his time.
No one has offered a solution to that issue until now.
It is difficult to see beyond your selfish little self-interests…
It probably won’t surprise you that the most successful people, the producers, are able to separate their emotions from reality, and they more often act on reality than on self-concern. And when they act on emotion, they are just as stupid, inane, and ineffective as you are.
In MY job there is a way to be where I am the teacher and I know what I want to teach, and then I teach that.
And there is a second way when I ask: What wants to be taught?
What causes you to be that feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances?
It’s emotions. Or more precisely: emotional reaction to thoughts, words, rules, should be’s and shouldn’t be’s… to what is right and what is wrong, to what is good and what is evil.
In a previous course of mine, can’t remember which, I use a metaphor, or simile… reality is empty, or mostly empty. It is the sky. And the emotions are the clouds trying to hide reality, cover up reality, replace reality… competing for your attention.
Your life, your effectiveness in life, your happiness depends on your behavior towards the clouds.
If you only see the clouds, you don’t see reality, and you are wretched, emotionally jerked by the clouds.
In effect it all comes from the Original Sin: accepting the Tree of Knowledge as the ultimate guide to life… and grossly ignoring the Tree of Life… aka Reality.
If you want a different life from the life you are heading towards… your job is to unlearn what is largely invisible to you: Identify the water you swim in…
You don’t see things as they are, you see things as YOU are…
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
That was Shakespeare, talking about you, about your life, about how you live your life.
What he means to talk about is a life lived by emotions… without using the brain, the organ of rational thinking, the organ of perceiving reality, or more importantly telling apart the drama, the emotions and reality… and base life on reality.
Until now no one blamed your proclivity, your tendency to choose to look into what you feel on your miserable life.
When you use
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Drifting? Aimless? Unhappy? Bored? So-so? Read this article…
I just watched two book reviews of the same book, Happiness Hypothesis by Jonathan Haidt. Why? Because I wanted to get the gist of it, without having to chew 300 pages plus.
But I am still interested to hear the principles, in 10 minutes instead of 10 hours… wouldn’t you?
The two reviews differed vastly, because of the reviewers.
Their IQ being the same, I looked at their vibration, and the difference was there… 20 points difference.
Vibration, in one way to look at, is the height from where you look at life.
The first guy looked at the book from a height from where you can see the principles, and can allow yourself to be guided by them. That is the usefulness of principles.
If we took an inventory of your life… If I followed you around for a day, a week, a month… How many of your actions are planting seeds for the future you desire, how many are planting seeds to no results, or undesired results?
Most people plant no seeds. Some plant seeds but then forget about watering them, and the weeds or the dryness kills the seeds before they can even sprout.
Most people think that the world rotates around them, should play according to their rules, and their rules are: give it to me now, because I want it.
Manifestation, the law of attraction, mind movies, instant healing, the “bars”, incantation, shamanism, and thousands of fraudulent abusive modalities all capitalize on this warped world view to make it all right for you.
But they are lies, frauds, intentionally misleading you. And you are willing. It turns my stomach.
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