Catch a glimpse of the iceberg – how your self became fragmented and how you can become whole again


I used to think that when you are an avatar, when you are a change-agent, people find you lovely and are attracted to you. I wanted that. I haven’t had a lot of “being liked” experiences.

I used to think that. Never thought that being of high vibration can create bad feeling in people’s hearts.

Don’t misunderstand me, I knew of historical facts, but I never connected them with the fact that the person was high vibration.

Until yesterday.

I knew what really beautiful women share: that they are mostly alone. That people are afraid to approach them. But I am not really beautiful, so I didn’t think it applied to me.

But yesterday drove it all home for me.

I have prepared a list of the fragments I have discovered, fragments of the self. My self…

What am I talking about?

When you are born you are born whole and complete, unless you had an unfortunate in-the-womb experience, and a good 10% of babies have had. I did… in that incident I left 6% or my original self… a fragment of my self.

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The secret of happy producers… NOT what time they get up in the morning, or how many books they read…


My students, like popcorn, are starting to pop at the same time. It is hard to say what made each pop… especially if your vocabulary (distinction) is not keeping up with the richness of the invisible reality.

What do I mean?

I have been intrigued with the idea of helping people to be intrinsically motivated, ever since I read and re-read Deci’s book: Why we do what we do.

Without words one can be the best at something, but will never be able to teach it…
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Will Hypnosis work to change your mind so you can be happy, successful, thin, and pretty? My story…


My first experience with anything working, anything successfully modifying my world was around 1977. I was 30 years old. I worked in a huge factory that manufactured steel products for construction.

I was an architect, but made a mistake, an error in judgment, and fell to the bottom of the professional pile, got terribly depressed, and had to start all over again.

The professional office occupied the whole sixth floor, no partitions, just a sea of drafting boards with lots and lots of drawings on them.

For an empath there is no worse environment. You lose touch with who you are, what you feel, and drawn in a sea of other people’s feelings, other people’s identities. I felt a descent to madness.

My “desk” was at the furthest corner of the big room, and I had to navigate my way passing twenty-thirty drafting boards to get to the door to go to the bathroom, to a meeting, to lunch. I started seeing things, doors to open, threatening shadows, it was hell.

One afternoon I decided to get help.

A big factory like this had a medical office, so I went down there, no appointment: emergency.

The doctor, an older rugged individual, took me to an empty examination room, told me to take the couch till he would come back.

I was sobbing uncontrollably. When he came back he prescribed something for me, shots, and told me to come back every day at 10.

I bought the shots, and did as he said.

The second morning I noticed that my insides were starting to perk up at 9:30.A few minutes before 10 I was in the parking lot to go over to the medical building. It was a sunny morning. What’s in this shot that makes my body perk up like that? I wondered, and stopped to read the tiny tiny print on the box. blah blah blah codeine… Whatever codeine is, I don’t want it! I said. Gently placed the box on the pavement, and jumped on it with both feet, crushing the small ampoules in it.

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The saga continues: Landmark Education and me… and proof that positive thinking is bah humbug


I left it off where by 4 pm the day of my return from my first Landmark course, four people at the City of Jerusalem office registered into a course, because they wanted what I got. I went from misery to pride, a vibration of 35 to 175 during that weekend, or more specifically in that 15 minute exercise where I had the insight that I blamed my father for not marrying me.

And no, the issue wasn’t whether I can marry another or not… though it has come up as a question later, much later. The issue was the anger that was tied up in that incident, in that blame, and also the self-disgust of having been used. Being used is still a sore spot for me, but I don’t try to punish everyone for my own misery any more. I did, for many many decades.

As in every Landmark course, there was a Tuesday night evening session. Trekking to Haifa was not on my schedule, but given the result I got, I decided to go. People shared what they got out of the course, and I didn’t understand half of it. I didn’t share. I didn’t know what I got out of it, other than people didn’t leave the bathroom like before. Although it was significant, I could not explain what happened.

I didn’t know about energy, I didn’t know about vibration, I didn’t know about anything that would explain why that happened. Don’t forget, 175 is still a low vibration: still below where you can consider yourself a human being in training. Life is still all about you at 175.

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My saga with Landmark Education – Part Three and how my vibration went from 35 to 175 in a 15-minute exercise


I left it off that I hardly understood any of the three-day course, and yet…

Since then I have distinguished (don’t forget, this was 27 years ago!) that mind-learning, understanding, actually stands in the way of transformation. Transformation happens as a result of an insight, but the mind is only capable of intellectual insights, and they are worthless, or better said: a dime a dozen. Almost worthless, lol.

So here we are, midday day 3 of the Communication Workshop. The sun is blasting, it is late August in Israel. We are asked to stand up and mingle. I look out the window. The room is on the top of a mountain that is surrounded on three sides with the beautiful blue water of the Mediterranean. Breathtaking.

We are asked to find a new partner to share with. My new partner is gorgeous. He is of Yemenite origin, a Yemenite Jew. Tall, wild looking, lean and sexy. We are asked to make a list of all the people we have a bad or so-so relationship with. My mom is on the top of my list, of course.

Then the leader, a fellow architect, asks us to cross out number one and number two from our list. I gasp. My father is number three… eggad… this is going to be bad.

The assignment is to say one sentence that would completely alter that relationship. One sentence? That is going to be tough.

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Of all the programs for transformation I have ever lead…


Of all the programs for transformation I have ever lead… and I am not talking about programs that were energy supported, like the 2nd phase activators, and many others that were mostly about activation…

Of all the programs I have ever lead the most effective in terms of personal transformation, it was the Soaring Method…

I am sharing what I learned from leading that course… quite significant.
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Landmark Education video on how to have a breakthrough in raising a lot of money… and my story Part Two


I left it off in my previous (part one) article, that I signed up for the “thing” that this guy said made him so happy and smiley.

I wanted it more than anything. I was miserable, lonely, depressed, and it didn’t look life was going to change on its own. My vibration, at the time, was 35. Barely enough energy to be breathing and moving. A walking dead.

I have pictures of me from that time, all smiles. Agrimony smiles, all pretense, to cover up the misery.

At the end of the evening I went home to my immigration hostel, that is where recent immigrants to Israel are housed. I shared a room with a stark mad Hungarian woman. She was angry and some kind of crazy: would walk all night with a knife in her hand. For protection or to kill me, I never found out. She returned to Hungary.

I was so happy that night, so hopeful, that I wanted to share my joy with everyone who was willing to listen.

The first person I ran into, Dave, was immediately recognized what I signed up for. “Oh, you are sooo stupid!” he said. “You paid 380 dollars for that? I’ll do it for you for 120 bucks. Lock you in a room, take your watch, and yell at you… You’ll get what you want!” he said.

I believed him. Next day I called the number on the receipt and canceled my registration. I will get what I want and save 260 dollars.

But Dave wasn’t serious. I lost the receipt and never quite catch what the name of that course was, so I spent the next two and a half years in deep anguish and depression.

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When Life seems to work against you… or does opposite of what you expected


One of my teachers, via Ayn Rand, has been Aristotle.

He taught me one thing. Most people will not teach you much… they will do one thing and one thing only: alter your foundation.

And with regards to foundation altering: Aristotle’s teaching is the most jarring, and the most transformative.

Here is the teaching:

Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think that you are facing a contradiction, check your premises.

If you are doing all the right things and still don’t have your results… that is a contradiction. Check your premises.

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Landmark Education: worth watching video and my story – Part One


I was first introduced to Landmark it was called something else, Werner Erhard and Associates. I was a new immigrant in Israel, worked for the City of Jerusalem as an architect, in the Town Planning Department. I was lonely and miserable.

I left Hungary hoping for a family. I left Hungary hoping for a better life. Instead I brought my misery with me and got loneliness on top of it.

One day a woman I barely knew by sight stuck her head in the door of my office and invited us, 4 girls, to a thing at her home. I said yes, I would have gone anywhere at that point.

My Hebrew was good enough to work, not too good to converse at that point.

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What is the sky telling you? You never looked? Maybe it says you are not lovable?


I got an email today: A classmate of mine died yesterday.

He wasn’t the first one to die, he was the first one I cried over his death.

I pay attention when I cry. It is part of my guidance system. It takes me to places I need to go. Not forcefully go, not mind-directed go, instead go like a child goes, his hand in the hand of an adult, and they just go together, and the child doesn’t even consider worrying: the child is safe as long as the two hands touch.

It’s like a pilgrimage… not like I know what a pilgrimage is, this is the word that came, and I am going to trust it.

I had no idea why I would cry over the death of this guy. I don’t remember talking to him more than once, for maybe one sentence… that’s it. This is going to be interesting…

I am going about doing the things I do, webmastering, answering emails, making lunch, tea… nothing extra. I know that I am still being guided, I feel it.

Next piece of the “becoming conscious pilgrimage” is a movie I loved.

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