Tag Archives: Amp

…And live to tell the tale…

You want to live a life where you say this about yourself, a lot. “…And I lived to tell the tale…”

Where you are on the edge… and come back to tell the tale.

The edge? it feels like the dividing line between life and death. It is just a feeling. Some edge is quite inconsequential, but the going there is tremendous.

I signed up to be coached on Monday, and it’s Sunday, and I am already “fired”.

Another man’s integrity may be out of integrity for you. Another man’s wisdom is not YOUR wisdom. That is what happened.

I was asked to do something that doesn’t agree, doesn’t foster love between my two selves. Everybody is doing it… but for me to love ME, I can’t do it.

If you are not free to be yourself, then your integrity number is low.

Integrity is an inside job, and only you can call the shot…

But… Without integrity nothing work.
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…And I recoil from dirty laundry…

I should be doing some laundry. I have run out of socks… And anyways, I want to tame this beast of not doing my laundry.

I gather a load’s worth of stuff, carry it to the washing machine… and the distaste, the disgust is so strong… I take a beeline… and sit down by my computer.

Distaste, eh? Yeah, says muscle test. Disgust? yes. Was it always there? No. Was it from when i was 3? later… from age seven.

What was happening at age seven? I went to school. We had a live-in help: my mother was working on her Masters Degree, coming home around nine every night. My brother was about a year old… and was probably driving the live-in help bonkers.

And I recoil from dirty laundry…

I sit really quietly. The fear joins the distaste. I feel terror. I feel being beaten. Screamed at. Wrapped in wet sheets… Can’t breathe…

I must have wet my bed. I don’t remember. My body remembers. The fear, the disgust, the gagging.

The body remembers.

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The life of a pinball… or Your expectations and your disappointments

Your expectations and your disappointments reveal to you and to everyone who knows anything about the unconscious world view that makes sure you are miserable.
You learned that the Universe, Reality, your body, other people are like a vending machine. Push a button and outcomes what you wanted.
Or a car, or an electric mixer. Mechanistic, there for your service.

Even the evil people, religion, law of attraction, manifestation people teach that… with one little twist: if you are good, then the machine will turn on and spit out what you wanted.

So these people with their little twist make it your own fault if and when it doesn’t work.

But what you think about the world and the way the world works are very different.

And you go from expectation to disappointment, anger, dismay, disgust… according to your temperament.
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Did Your Personality Get Put Together vs. You Were Born That Way?

I got a thank you note today. I get quite a few of those, I must admit.

They are a great way for me to track how the methodologies and principles I use in my teaching work. I mean, how effective I am, how effective the methods are. They track my ability to make a difference in the world. (Someone please remind me to write about how I view my making a difference… OK?)

This note reads
Today was a huge success. I did not even recognize myself. I was attempting to have a conversation with my sister when she became extremely aggressive upon trying to control me and failing. She was in my face yelling and pacing around in circles. I remained calm and did not attempt to defend myself as the lies flew at me. I was able to stick to the subject and not accuse. At this point her husband jumped in and tried to intimidate me, pointing his finger in my face and yelling. They both looked like mad men ganging up on me. I did not raise my voice or get emotional. This is the first time in my life I had no fear in a confrontational situation and it felt GREAT! To be honest I think it frightened my sister & her husband. They did not know what to think of me, I have had many weaknesses in the past but now I am strong.

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Who Were My Teachers in Transformation and Mindset… ?

Well, this could be a real long article, even a book.

I won’t go there! writing a book is way too long for my ADHD personality.

But there is one teacher, who I admire, Colin Wilson (of “Outsider” and “The Mind Parasite” fame, who wrote a book, “The Books In My Life” where he strung about 15 essays into a book, and I learned more from the writers he speaks of than I would have learned, had I read the original books.
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